Besides, maybe this time
by JCBack
Summary: Beca Mitchell had a decent life. At age 28, she had an apartment, she had a job to fill her days (and sometimes nights), and she had a carefully cultivated caffeine addiction. What will happen when all the walls crumble? A Tuesday in February and a green envelope change it all. Based on this (first) prompt: itwasyounme./post/43580547783/bechloe-prompts
1. Chapter 1

[A/N: This is a first. We'll see how it goes. .com posted a couple of prompts, one of which helped create this, although I take some liberties with the song selection. TY :-)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter One

"_This is the first day of my life. Swear I was born right in the doorway."_

Beca Mitchell had a decent life. At age 28, she had an apartment, she had a job to fill her days (and sometimes nights), and she had a carefully cultivated caffeine addiction.

After graduating from Barden University in Atlanta with a business degree, Beca had decided to make her home in New York City six years ago. Since then, she had continuously worked on blending in as much as possible. Blending in in New York was easy. Everyone had their own style and story, and even in the somewhat conservative world of publishing, piercings, tattoos and a near pathological liking for tank tops could not set Beca apart much.

She had been working in publishing for a while. Her first job in the city (apart from her very short-lived Starbucks stint – she just liked the beverages too much) had been working in the marketing and sales departments of a large publishing company specialized in children's literature. It felt good to get away from college, to move back to the North East, to smell snow in the air in November and to have proper, adult things like a job and a dental plan; but the bright colors of the book covers, the cheery back cover copy, and the silly character names contrasted too starkly with the dark hues of her hoodies, the ocean gray of her eyes, and the general gloominess of her moods for her liking. Publishing specialized for accounting professionals at Blumberg & Gurtsky seemed much more fitting. Not that accounting interested Beca in the slightest, but it was darker. At least, she liked to remind herself from time to time, her time at Fairies & Balloons Inc. (what a ridiculous company name! They had to be insane.) had helped her develop the very grown up comfort of her love for coffee.

Beca spent a lot of time in coffee shops, all sorts of coffee shops. In the morning, while running from her run-down Queens apartment building to her train stop, she would dash into the small Greek coffee shop where didn't have to say anything anymore. She would shuffle in and stand in line, and be handed her usual morning drink, the darkest of roasts, black, one sugar. She'd sip it on the train, toss the paper cup in a bin at the station and then walk down Sixth Avenue towards the Blumberg & Gurtsky office building. First coffee of the day; first coffee was good. And helped her find the power of speech. Most of the time.

The second coffee shop was usually a Starbucks on Sixth Avenue. Depending on whether her Greek brew had rendered her able to talk to coworkers, she would drop by one of the chain's locations right after exiting the train station or as a lunch break. At both times, she would order a gigantic portion of latte, with double shots.

A stop at a third coffee shop would sometimes occur after work where Beca would sit in whatever place seemed nice to her at the time, and she would read up on news from the accounting and publishing worlds. Usually, however, Beca would just sit at her desk until the Manhattan sky was darker than the circles under her eyes (which was saying something). Blumberg & Gurtsky had a way of filling so much of her day that not much was left. Which was exactly how Beca liked it. Work and coffee. That was what adults did. Right?!

It was nothing but a Tuesday, a normal, regular Tuesday in February. When Beca exited the train station and started her way towards her office, she almost bumped into a man shoveling snow off the walkway and onto Sixth Avenue. Snow was something that Beca didn't pay much attention to unless it was so high she couldn't walk anymore. February this year was snowy (but not too snowy to not walk anymore), foggy and cold, everything you would expect February in New York City to be.

The only somewhat exceptional thing was that Beca had plans for the night. Not the actual night because, well. But plans she did have. February (be it in New York City or elsewhere) meant that March was coming up. And March meant the annual Bella meeting. And that meant that Beca was hanging out with her friend Amy who – like every year – would make her go to the stupid meeting. Tonight they were going to do the planning. Which was ridiculous. Because A, she didn't want to go in the first place and usually managed to have enough excuses to only come in for a day (obviously, Beca had to do the planning on that by herself). And B, they were going to go about it the same way they did every year. Amy would book their flights to leave for Atlanta on Friday night, with returning flights for Beca on Saturday afternoon and for Amy Sunday night. Same thing every year, no planning needed. But arguing didn't seem all that grown up to Beca so she agreed to meet Amy at a coffee shop downtown.

When Beca switched her computer off before most of her coworkers, she garnered some confused looks. Everybody knew that Beca Mitchell was the one who locked the office door every night. Beca who had felt their eyes upon her, looked up to find people scrambling through their purses and pockets. Shrugging, she took her coat, stuffed her brown hair under a beanie and ventured into the cold.

A while later, Beca entered the coffee shop, a tiny place in the basement of a brownstone which served decent coffee and nice pastries. Finding a spot in a corner away from the door, Beca sat down and ordered a large cup of Italian coffee; she refrained from the baked goods. She pulled out an accounting magazine and started reading.

The front door of the coffee shop burst open, banged against the wall behind it and a loud voice said, "No! Absolutely not. There's no way in hell, I'm going to that thing! … I know you call it a party but I would never… Yes, way! Whatever. I gotta go!". And looking around frantically, the blonde woman spotted Beca, her dark tresses hiding most of her face. "C'mere and give me a hug, little squish ball!" Beca rolled her eyes, and with a halfhearted hug around Amy's very cold college jacket greeted her friend: "Hey." Amy froze while putting her jacket on the back of her chair and raised and eyebrow at Beca. "Usual, huh?" She winked and pointed at the coffee mug. Beca knew that Amy was not talking about beverages at all but she decided to let it go and simply nodded.

Half an hour later, Beca had accepted that she had to come to the Bellas meeting, as per usual. Munching on a large banana cream cupcake, Amy had run down her list of arguments like every year. She had told Beca how much it would mean to her and everyone in the group if Beca came and since Beca had had a great part in the group winning the ICCAs in Beca's freshman year at Barden, it would be weird if she stayed away. Amy called their entire time at Barden but especially that one year the best time of her life. Beca could only smirk. Yes, she had enjoyed college somewhat. And she was glad her father had made her participate in an activity. But a capella? Couldn't it have been something a little more adult? The debate team would have been great, or a book club. But singing and dancing? She still didn't quite know how she had ended up there...

Well... except that she did.

Beca got off the train two hours later. The snow had picked up again and it was windy so that she had to bend forward to walk properly. Someone had written the word 'POOP' in the snow of the windshield of a car she passed. She shook her head – why were people so childish? Why couldn't everyone just mind their own business?

Her apartment building welcomed her with the usual gloom. The paint was peeling off the walls, the front door needed a kick in a very specific place to close all the way, the light in the lobby was flickering and the mailboxes in the left corner was banged up and almost falling apart. Beca had entertained a theory about the mailboxes ever since she had moved in five years ago. If more than one or two of the mailboxes were ever open at the same time, Beca was sure the whole construction would crumble into pieces (if not dust).

Tonight, on this regular, normal, not at all out of the ordinary Tuesday in February, Beca's mailbox contained a bill and a bright green envelope. Bestowing the latter with a quizzical look, Beca pocketed it, punched the elevator button brutally (the only way it would work) and drove up to her apartment. The elevator halted on the fourth floor with a huge jump. Even though she would never show anybody she did this, Beca always got her keys out before the lift stopped and held them by the short chain attached to the ring. She twitched her wrist at the same time the elevator bounced and the keys would fly up for her to grab them out of the air. Shaking her head at how silly she was, Beca stepped out of the lift and unlocked her door. Coat, keys and shoes found their usual places. As did the gray envelope housing the bill. Mail waited for the weekend; that way it would receive the appropriate amount of attention. The green envelope followed the bill after Beca had turned it once more in her hands.

After her night routine, Beca walked into her bedroom. There was a dresser and a bed, and a cupboard with jeans, tank tops, button ups and one awkwardly fitting suit and skirt. The only decoration that Beca indulged was a picture of herself sitting with her mother on a park bench. The empty room calmed Beca's mind. She sat on her pillow and rolled her head to get rid of her stiff neck. Even though she had agreed to go to Atlanta yet again, she had another month to get ready for it. And tomorrow would be Wednesday and there would be no coffee dates with loud Australians, just her routine, work and coffee. Quiet. Normal. Good. Beca heaved a sigh.

Almost ashamed, Beca left her bedroom once more five minutes later. She felt silly for doing it but she snuck to the kitchen and pulled the green envelope off the fridge. There was something about the bright color and the nice feel of the paper. It stuck out crassly from her usual gray and brown mail. But why not? Today was weird anyway.

How ordinary can turn into most mind-blowing extraordinary within seconds...

The envelope contained a folded green sheet of paper and a pale blue postcard. Turning the postcard, Beca saw it asked for an RSVP with the options of "I'll solo.", "There will be an epic duet.", and "We will perform with a choir of...". An elegant combination of letters showed "C & J" in the upper corner. Confused, Beca unfolded the sheet of paper. A weird sinking feeling strained her insides pulling them further down with every word:  
"We will gather in the face of the aca-gods and in the face of this competition, to join together these two women in holy harmony:  
Chloe Tiffany Beale & Julia Anne Hewitt."


	2. Chapter 2

[Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Two

She had known. Beca had known for years it would come to this. That one day, she would hear word of Chloe Beale getting married. It made all the sense in the world. Chloe was beautiful, smart, quirky, talented, humble, and generous. People would be lining up to marry the redhead. All in all, there were a lot of things that made a wholehearted "duh!" the natural response to the news that Chloe Beale was getting married.

"Duh!" really was not what was going through Beca's mind.

The feeling that had pulled at her organs a minute ago seemed to have crossed from a subconscious thing into actual, heavy weight reality. Beca could not remember sitting down but now she was in the lone kitchen chair. Her intestines felt like they had left the fourth floor apartment and were hanging out with her neighbor on second. Her heart was in sub basement.

Beca felt cold. She felt like she should now – in this very instant – put her coat on, head towards her Greek roast and then dash off to the office. Be an adult, fulfill your duties, work. Responsibilities, and stuff. "Oh, what the fuck?" she grumbled and pushed herself off the chair. She shook her head at how much a simple piece of paper was influencing her. She rolled her shoulders and head again as she walked into her bedroom and dropped on her bed.

"In the face of the aca-gods..." Seriously? One could really overdo it with the music references!

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Beca woke up before dawn damp with sweat and shivering vigorously. She had been having one of those confusing dreams that you forget about right when waking up. The only thing she could remember about it was that it had had a huge effect on her. So really, it could have been the best dream of her life, a nightmare or a scolding hot sex phantasy for all she knew. Possible all three at the same time...

She tried to turn around and simply go back to sleep – which did not work in an almost profound way. For one thing, the mystery of which of the three categories her most current would belong to made her wake up a lot more. But what shook her up enough to almost jump out of bed and awkwardly step toward the dresser was remembering when she had last had one of these unplaceable dreams.

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_19 year old Beca woke up in her ridiculously uncomfortable cot. 'How did anyone conceive the idea of finding the most terrible sleeping furniture when whoever had to endure it was already going through the thoroughly shitty experience of college?' her mind growled. A shared dorm room was never fun. Too much closeness, too much to share. So much in fact, she should probably feel lucky not to have to share the cot with Kimmy Jin, her roommate. 'OK. Awkward.' She pushed her thoughts away. _

_'Maybe it _was_ the sex phantasy kind of a dream?', Beca's sleepy mind suggested. Appalled by her own thoughts and with a glance toward the other girl's sleeping form, Beca got up to sit at her desk. Her computer, a trusty friend if she ever had one (she didn't), was humming its low tune. The machine was always in standby mode with the music editor software running when it wasn't in use. Just so Beca could start working at any minute. _

_She opened a new project and her iTunes and started looking around. This work was second nature to her; so much so that she sometimes felt like her music library was more her home than actual, non-virtual place like her uncomfortable dorm room cot. So maybe that made mixing first nature to her rather than second... _

_Moving effortlessly between songs and windows on her screen while adding songs to one coherent beautiful piece of music, Beca managed to get in touch with some of what she had been presented by her subconscious in slumber. She couldn't grasp it fully, but there was a auburn hue above everything, painting all the emotions and sights into a sensual dark sepia tone. Waterfalls had been part of it and a cloud of lady bugs. _

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Coming out of her reverie, Beca found that she was holding a faded blue and yellow scarf, her old Bellas scarf. That sign of belonging to that nerd group. That reminder of how conservative things had been, yet also a token of how things had changed in a matter of months. According to most in the group, these changes had to be credited to Beca.

She closed her eyes in agony as she cringed at the memory. So. Weird! When she opened her eyes, the scarf was blooming in a maroon glow, that same auburn sheen. She could almost feel the ghost of a waterfall on her shoulders... She halfway smiled. She felt the need to quickly turn it into a crooked smirk, along with a perfectly executed eye roll.

Which took her eyes toward her window. No red dream sepia. No red and black beetles. No water sweetly caressing her spine. The sheen on the fabric in her hand came from the dawning sun creeping over the horizon.

Beca tossed the scarf back as if she had been stung and pushed the drawer closed violently.

A cold shower would be good. That would help with the sex phantasy thing _and_ the nightmare thing. And if the unplaceable dream had been the best dream of her life (Psh. Yeah, right.), there was nothing she could do about it anyway. Also, coffee.

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The sun was smiling down on the world as Chloe stepped outside her SUV and onto the street. "Come on, chica!", the redhead called out to her younger sister and led their way into the coffee shop. It was a popular spot serving vegan and vegetarian dishes, low-carb meals and other healthy options. They made a point of not offering sodas, only water and varieties of tea and juice. Really, it was a very LA kind of a place, with seating inside (air-conditioned, of course) and toward the street behind a little fence that mainly showed where the restaurant's property ended and the sidewalk began.

Excited to start their actual lunch date, Chloe spoke to one of the host's who showed the two women to a table facing a window showing an attractive backyard. They both ordered drinks – a pineapple juice for Chloe, mineral water for her sister. Joy was four years younger than Chloe, was a little bit taller and held herself with a dancer's grace. They shared the same sparkly, blue eyes and fiery red hair, but where Chloe's tresses fell in waves and curls over her shoulders, Joy's hair was straight as a board and cut in a funky asymmetrical do. Chloe and Joy had a simple, loving and close bond. Naturally, preparing for her wedding was something Chloe definitely wanted to share with her sister.

Today's meet-up was one of a regular kind; the sisters made a point of having lunch together once a week. But since it was a special occasion, they had also invited Chloe's best friend Aubrey, a fierce lawyer who hardly ever left the practice she worked at. Finishing up a hectic phone call as she stepped into the restaurant, Aubrey smiled at the Beale sisters, took her headset off and went in to hug Chloe. "Sorry I'm late, ladies. This client, he has been asking insane questions for days. I swear, I don't think he knows what his own company does! He really should though, they're really in trouble!"

As Aubrey embraced Joy she caught Chloe raising a critical eye brow toward her. "I know, I know!" Aubrey lifted her hands defensively. "No work." - "Damn straight!" Chloe offered brightly and pushed the menu toward her friend. The three women spent the next few minutes exchanging pleasantries and ordering their lunch.

"So, talk to us, Chlo! How's the bride?" Joy asked. Smiling Chloe pulled out her phone and showed the other two a text conversation. "This is how she starts every day at work nowadays." The text read "Just got in, my lovely, most beloved wife-to-be. I'm missing you already. Have a wonderful day. I love you, beautiful. Mrs. Hewitt**-**Beale, XXXXX". Joy made a retching sound and Aubrey shook her head, "You guys are crazy." "Crazy in love.", Chloe offered, and all three giggled.

"Are you excited, pumpkin?" Joy asked as their dishes were being served. Chloe's beaming smile was answer enough. She loved her fiancee. Jules had been by her side for fiveyears. There had been difficult times and hardship but they had always found inspiration in one another. From that first meeting at the a cappella choir that Chloe had joined soon after she moved to LA, Chloe had known that she and Jules would get along. They shared a passion for music and a very similar outlook on life. Like Chloe, Jules found beauty in everything and everyone; she could get excited about the way the light hit the benches at the park and had a spring to her step pretty much every day. Chloe could not remember a day where she had not walked – if not woke – up to Jules with a smile on her face, so bright it could outshine the sun. Jules proposing was a dream come true. And she could not wait to be her wife. So of course, Chloe took the chance to gush about her upcoming nuptials.

After an extended period of time mostly occupied by Chloe's enamored excitement, Aubrey called the group's attention to herself. "Chlo, honey. I'm sorry but I have to head back soon. Can we talk about the meeting for a second?" Joy who shared her sister's enthusiasm for music but not her ardent love for a cappella (which Joy thought to be ridiculously nerdy) rolled her eyes and muttered something about "synchronized geek singing" before excusing herself to the bathroom.

Clearly disapproving the younger Beale's comments, Aubrey followed the redhead with her eyes. "How is she even related to you?" Chloe giggled. "Come on, Bree. Let her be. Not everyone can be as awesome as we are. So. The meeting. I booked our flights last weekend. We're boarding from LAX at 8:30 on Friday night and will leave Atlanta sometime Sunday afternoon. I'll email you the specifics." Aubrey nodded. "Sounds good. Can't believe it's been another year. I haven't heard from the girls in a while, have you?" "Not really. I spoke to Amy a while ago..." Chloe trailed off. Aubrey looked at her best friend intensely but decided not to comment on her tone of voice.

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Later that day, Chloe entered the house she shared with Jules. The lights were still off telling her she was the first back. She hung her keys on the clef-shaped key holder and set her purse on the coffee table. Deep in thought, she moved to the office area where neat piles of green envelopes where stacked on a glass desk. Chloe drew out a pencil and took a deep breath. She tapped the pencil against her bottom lip, nodded once determinedly and reached for one of the piles.

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Beca felt like she at least found of her insides again when she was on the subway to work, having enjoyed a very cold shower and holding her morning beverage in her gloved hand. Most of her body was back in place. Her head had been screwed back on. She had refocused. Really, she didn't know why the invitation had affected her so much; it was silly.

She arrived at her office even earlier than usual and began with her daily routine: switching on all the lights, starting her computer, brewing the first filter "coffee" of the day. That stuff really should not be called coffee; it certainly deserved a lesser name. Beca checked her emails, answering a couple that her boss had sent her last night and began working on a bigger project, a marketing piece that was due soon. She immersed herself in composing texts and only noticed how much time had passed when more and more of her coworkers started filing into the room. Some of them chatted their mugs in hand while another switched on the radio in his cubicle. Beca rolled her eyes. 'Why didn't they give me my own office, seriously? I could work so much more without these crazies around me!'

An hour later, most of the ruckus around her had died down somewhat, the radio had been switched off again and Beca had managed to get back in her work zone. She had sent her first parts for the marketing piece to the graphics department, where they were working on a first draft now, and had moved on to a presentation her boss had asked for. Trying to shut everything out that happened outside her cubicle, Beca assembled slide after slide.

Her self-applied blinders worked beautifully; she saw nothing but her computer, her folders and papers in her otherwise spare cubicle. The thing that pulled her out of her blissful concentration was a shrill ring. Blushing, Beca fumbled with her coat trying to get her phone out of the pocket; had it been one of her coworkers' phones going off this loudly, she would have bestowed them with one of her patented glares. So naturally, she was embarrassed that this faux pas was happening to her right now.

She ducked into the kitchen and answered. "Holy motherfucker! Sweet bejeezles!" Amy was almost screaming down her ear. "Amy, what's wrong? Are you OK?" "OK?" Amy asked "Am I OK? Hell, I'm awesome. I'm fucking excited." Beca quirked an eyebrow. "Um. What for?" "Really, squish ball? You're really asking that? I haven't been this happy since the day my dad signed me up for bull riding. And did I ride that motherf..." "So this is something good?" Beca interrupted her friend. "Honey, sometimes you're as daft fruit cake! Did you check your mail yesterday?"

Oh. That was what this was about. Beca had managed to push the green envelope and its contents to the gray and rarely visited fringes of her memory. She swallowed her, cleared her throat and nodded. Realizing that Amy could not see her, she gave an awkward "Um, yup. I did." "There will only be this one topic at the meeting. Fucking Beale and always pulling focus. What a scene stealer! It's going to be worse than when Cynthia-Rose and Denise rekindled their oh-so-gay flame..." Amy rambled. "Hmm." Beca gave a non-committal grunt. "Urgh, you're no fun when you're at work! Work jerk, Mitchell!" Amy criticized. After a tired laugh, Beca grudgingly agreed to meet the Australian for an after-work drink.

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Gaining a nod of approval, Beca had handed in the desired presentation a day early. While her boss seemed content, her coworkers were probably questioning the way of the world when she – Beca Mitchell who was hardly ever out of the office – left if not early at least on time again. Beca realized none of this. She was still so submerged in getting from A to B to C that was around T by now.

She knew that Amy would be late as usual so she decided to take a walk to the bar they had agreed on. Beca hated that Amy was always late and she had the suspicion that it wasn't always because of her job like the Australian said. Amy worked for a popular magazine as a writer; her biggest project was a column giving relationship advice. Which Beca thought was ridiculous. Amy had her share of experience but Beca could not remember her ever staying with someone longer than a few weeks. But she was happy for her friend's success. Even though the being late thing was really annoying.

Sure enough, when Beca entered the small bar in the Village, she looked around to see only strangers. Sighing she got a ginger ale from the bar and sat at a table with a couch in the back room. "Squish ball!" came the scream ten minutes later.

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_Amy had used the sarcastic nickname for Beca for years. "Aren't you just squishy and adorable!" Amy had exclaimed one day early in their New York City life and it had stuck. Beca had been having a terrible day where she grumbled about anything and everything. The first days in the city had been like that: Beca complaining, Amy holding her own with jokes and smiles that never quite reached Beca. _

_Even though she appreciated Amy's presence, Beca sometimes wondered what the blonde was doing. Amy had give the impression of wanting to go back to "Tasmania, the land of sweat and bad grooming" as she called it. It was not a topic Beca would ever broach but it did feel like Amy simply stuck by her. 'Why would she do such a thing? It's not like I can't get on on my own!'_

_Whatever Amy's reasons, she stood by them and was Beca's rock whatever she ventured in. The Australian offered advice and opinion, she was if not a calm, certainly a steadfast and dependable companion. And Beca even got used to being called 'squish ball' in public, very loudly. _

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"So. How insane are Chloe and her Juliet?" Amy got right to the ditty after she had gotten beers for both of them and plopping down on the couch next to Beca. Beca took a first sip of the beer and shrugged. "Oy!" Amy exclaimed and held out her bottle for Beca clink hers against it. "I found it a little bit over the top. I mean, there's no fucking way they could have put more a cappella in there!" said Beca raising one eyebrow. "I wonder whether they'll sing their vows actually..." Beca's mouth fell open in a comical "O". "You think they'd do that? That'd be really..." She didn't even know what to call it.

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_What made Beca so indignant about the music references was not the expertly developed snark and sarcasm she had shown towards a cappella when she first arrived at Barden University. Amy knew that Beca had grown to love the somewhat nerdy activity. She had passionately fought to change the Bellas' standards, she had succeeded and made them infinitely better – without Beca, they would never have become international champions. _

_In fact, the Beca who had attended Barden had been someone very different to the Beca who was now trudging along at Blumberg & Gurtsky. Well, the Beca who had attended Beca's freshmen year, the Beca who was a talented DJ. After the triumphant night in New York, Beca and the Bellas had come home to Barden as heroes. They had been celebrated for over a week – campus was technically shut down for most of that time. Three months later, out of the ten Bellas eight returned. Aubrey and Chloe had graduated and moved to LA leaving Beca with the responsibility of captaining the Bellas. _

_It had gone well for a while. Beca had been snarky. Amy had been loud. Stacie had been inappropriate. Cynthia-Rosa had started looking toward Denise rather than Stacie again. Denise had been pretending not to see. The new girls found their place in the dysfunctional family the Bellas had become over the previous year. With Beca dating Jesse who had been installed as team captain for the Treble Makers, the hostility between the two groups had died down, safe for friendly competition and bickering. All was as normal as they could expect after losing two important team members. _

_Until the first riff-off which traditionally started off the a cappella competition season and got all the groups on campus in the mood for Sectionals. After the Bellas had won, they all bowed to the audience gathered around the empty swimming pool. Justin who was manning the stereo turned up the volume on the first song to start their post riff-off party. David Guetta's 'Titanium'. _

_Amy remembered looking for Beca sometime after and not finding a trace of the petite brunette. She was about to text her when she saw Jesse. The young man was sitting in a corner of the pool holding a plastic cup unsteadily to his lips and drinking slowly. From what she could understand of his drunken slur, Amy gathered that Beca had frozen up completely at the beginning of the party, stared at him and then stated "It's over. It has to be..." repeatedly. Jesse had tried to talk to her but she wouldn't say anything else. Finally, she had apologized and left. _

_The next few days were terrible. At first, Amy thought Beca had left campus because she wouldn't open her dorm room, or answer her phone. Amy also never saw her at classes. Amy went to Beca's father's house and peered into the windows. She debated calling Chloe who had always had a strangely close relationship with Beca. Before she could make up her mind, she received a text from Beca: "I need to move some boxes on the weekend, can you help me out?". _

_That Saturday was when Amy made up her mind. She would not ask questions. But she would be there. She knew Beca to be very good at deflection but also had come to realize that the brunette had a big heart and just pushed too hard sometimes. One day, all these things she was putting away would come crumbling back and bury her like an avalanche. _

_Beca didn't say one word except hello, thank you, and bye that day. There was nothing; so much sadness, so much pain that seemed to suck the tiny girl off the world. She was only tethered to the here and now by her will to keep going on, by the determination that she could and would make it on her own. _

_After that, Beca came back to campus with a new-found vigor for her classes; she was hardly ever out of them. When she wasn't in one of the auditoriums or working on her papers, she was sitting in the most secluded area of the library submerged into large volumes about business. The headphones which had been her most prominent and frequent accessory were gone; Amy never saw them again. _

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Beca hadn't had any alcohol in a while – she mostly worked during the time other people would use for going out – so the two beers she drank over the course of the next two hours affected her noticeably. She talked more freely, gestured more wildly and even complained about her coworkers a little bit. Amy hadn't seen her friend like this in a long time so she took the liberty to apply some mild pressure.

"Tell me, Becs. With this news, can you really only stay in Atlanta for one night? I think we should celebrate. Red's getting hitched!" Beca didn't react to being called "Becs", a name she usually despised. "Yeah... she really is. Weird, huh?" "We need to give her a proper Bella sendoff into matrimony!" Amy pressed on. Beca was not hammered, she was just a little bit tipsy. But she was surprised to her own voice utter the following words: "Yeah, we should. And of course, we'll all have to be bridesmaids!"

Amy just grinned.

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Another beer later, Beca was actually nearing a state of hammered. Amy who had a more party-influenced social life was holding her liquor relatively well but Beca had become somewhat unhinged. She pulled the green envelope out of her purse and used it to dramatically fan herself. "Chloe Beale, getting married!" she chuckled. With a tipsy grin, Amy asked to see the invitation again and the two women enjoyed a five minute giggle fest over the term "holy harmony". Amy insisted that if merged together the two words sounded like "horny".

Amy's laugh abruptly stopped and her gaze sobered up quickly. "Huh!" she exclaimed and held the green sheet of paper closer to her eyes. "What is it? More word jokes?" Beca grinned. "No. There's something pencilled in here. Fuck – it's too dark!" Beca took the paper out of Amy's hand and looked at the corner the blonde indicated. She held the invitation close to the candle on their table and squinted her eyes.

It was a tiny drawing of a lady bug.


	3. Chapter 3A

[A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews. It's amazing to read your thoughts on this little story, and a great inspiration. Some answers at the end of this A/N.

As I was writing this chapter, I realized it would have been huuuuge so I cut it off – consequently, there will be a Chapter Three B soon. All the aca-awesomeness of the Bellas reuniting just became a lot of story ;-)

I apologize if there's some language weirdness; English is not my native language and I have never attempted to write anything this big in general.

marisol81: I guess I am kind of angsty myself so there will be some cliffhangers here and there – that OK? ;-)

Trident449: Thank you. I guess my time jumps were somewhat crazy. Chapter Two was a little jumpy, you're right. I will have lots of flashbacks in this story but I'll work on marking them from now. What do you think of this new system – better?

thearcadian: The night of the riff-off will be explained at some point. Bear with me for the time being? :-)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Three A

"_I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed. They're spreading blankets on the beach."_

Present day – Beca's POV

The next morning, Beca woke up with a terrible headache. Her limbs felt like they had been beaten with a baseball bat. Her stomach contained a pound of cotton wool. Her tongue seemed to have grown a fluffy fur over night. "Not fun." was the only thought that managed to find a form other than imaginary grunting sounds in her head.

Beca sat up very slowly and rubbed her eyes. They did not agree with her about their degree of openness. Right. Hangovers. Another reason why Beca didn't drink. Not only because she didn't have time to go out or friends to keep her company; also drinking inflicted pain and miserable, miserable agony. She would have to call Amy and chastise her for letting all this happen. Amy. The Bellas. Chloe. Chloe Beale. The wedding. The lady bug.

Oh no.

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_Ten years ago – Beca's POV_

_Beca was walking from her dorm room to the communal showers. She was wearing her bathrobe and holding her shower things in one hand. Like a normal person. There was a spring to her step, an innate rhythm dancing through her veins that her head subtly nodded along to. As usual, she chose the second to last stall in the row. She would have taken the last one but that one was always the filthiest for some reason. _

_Feeling safe from her overwhelming father and Kimmy Jin for once, she inhaled deeply and hung her towel over a bar singing under her breath while getting under the shower. An excited "You _can_ sing!" came from behind her and she dropped the shampoo bottle. There she was, that too intense redhead she had met at the activities fair. Chloe. In all her – very naked – glory and talking about belts. Obviously not the clothing kind; Beca could see the other woman had quite a different relationship with garments than she did. Beca for one found them to be pretty much mandatory for social interactions; Chloe, apparently not so much. _

_While Chloe babbled on about the Bellas and auditioning, Beca made herself look at everything but the other girl. It was too tempting to stare, and Beca was afraid to not be able to look away if she allowed herself one glimpse. Chloe thought differently. She kept up her (rather one-sided) conversation and looked at Beca. Not that she was looking at in appropriate places but rather she looked at everything that would have been fine to look at had they met up wearing shorts and t-shirts._

"_Hey!" Chloe interrupted herself and pointed at the intricate tattoo of a grasshopper on Beca's forearm. She held out her left hand and Beca flinched a little. Chloe was gracious enough to ignore the hectic movement and grinned at the brunette. "I have a bug tattoo, too." she smiled. Beca now had to look. It was a small lady bug on the inside of Chloe's wrist. It was the hardest thing to pull her eyes away from the alabaster skin there and look up at the redhead's face – there was a lot of very tempting yet definitely inappropriate terrain between the two body parts. Blushing violently, Beca managed however and found herself looking into Chloe's light blue eyes. "We do have something in common..." the other woman said in a hushed voice. _

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Present day – Beca's POV

Beca's mind came back to her alcohol-wrecked, New York City body. Looking down on herself, Beca realized she had been blindly drawing the outlines on her tattoo. She shook her arms out and cleared her throat. 'What the fuck?'

Five minutes later, she was in the shower letting cold water run over her shoulders. Another cold shower. If she kept this up, she would save some money on her utilities bill... "I have to stop getting so worked up about this!" Beca said to herself while shampooing her hair. Chloe had barged in on her while she was showering once and they had sung a few cover songs together. A decade ago. A decade that felt like a lifetime. So what was the big deal, really?!

As soon as Beca left her bathroom, she took up the blue RSVP card, marked "I'll solo." with an X and sealed it in a simple gray envelope. Leaving her apartment half an hour later, she dropped the letter into the next mailbox without another thought. Not that there was anything else to think about. Also, the hungover was making a full-blown reappearance now she didn't have the ice cold water running over her head anymore.

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In the next few weeks, Beca disappeared into work. She hardly even talked to Amy. There was only one conversation during which Beca questioned both Amy's and her own sanity. Amy had texted her the flight details for their weekend in Atlanta and Beca was shocked to see that she was flying home with Amy on Sunday afternoon instead of Saturday like every other year. That's when Amy had relayed their conversation at the bar to her. Beca was shocked to hear that she had been excited to be a bridesmaid at Chloe's wedding. (She doubted, however, that she had fantasized about the matching pink dresses – that had to be Amy's imagination running wild off the booze.) Beca was equally shocked that Amy had acted accordingly to her, Beca's, drunk rambles.

After that, February went by too fast – sped up by a rush of big projects at Blumberg & Gurtsky, first spring-like Saturday afternoons spent with a book on search engine optimization in Washington Square Park, and a lot of deflection about how quickly the Bellas meeting was coming up.

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With the temperature climbing into the fifties for the first time that year, March came around. And with March came the Bellas weekend. Amy called Beca the Wednesday of that week to ask how they would arrange their travels and the two women agreed to share a cab from Manhattan to the airport after work.

Beca was excited, terrified and at least proclaimed to also feel annoyed about the pending meeting. Although they wouldn't ever tell her, even her coworkers could tell she was on the edge. After that short period in February where she had left early several times and had been disheveled twice, she had gotten back to her usual self. She had been the first into and the last out of the office. Her hair had been straightened and on most days pulled back into a tight and tidy ponytail. She had been drinking more coffee than would be healthy for anyone. But in the week before the Bellas meeting, she had been shaky and skittish. Her work results were still impeccable of course, but her quiet and restrained nature had been replaced with a nail biting uneasiness. Out of pity, one of her coworkers, Gloria who worked in Sales, wished Beca a nice weekend when she saw the brunette leaving early on Friday afternoon pulling a suitcase behind her that seemed huge in comparison to her tiny frame. Beca frowned at Gloria, nodded shakily and gave a stuttered "Thanks, you too."

On the elevator down from the 24th floor of her office building, Beca mused about her state: 'On the edge' did not do justice to how she was feeling. She felt like she had long passed that. She was actually over the edge and falling. Falling towards a crushing floor that would hit her soon. Said floor would not reveal itself though, it would sneak up on her. To add insult (and surprise) to injury. But Beca had an inkling that she would crash sometime that night.

A loud 'Ding!' called her out of her reverie and a tall black man entered the elevator on fourth floor. Nodding to him shortly, Beca rolled her shoulders. She would be OK. It was a stupid meeting. That she went to every year. What could happen in an additional 24 hours?! No one freaked out about meeting old college friends. Yes. Good. When she stepped out of the elevator at the next "Ding!" it was with a purpose. She could do this. Also, nothing a large cup of coffee couldn't heal.

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The trip to Atlanta was uneventful. Her coffee had calmed Beca down enough to be breathing regularly, to stop biting her nails and to get lost in the intricacies of Amy's childhood stories. She even snickered quietly when the Australian in the cab to the hotel told her the story of how she was born. Having been kicked out of the room, her dad had been pacing the family farm and one of the calves had been bleating loudly, annoying Amy's dad so much that he took up a stone and threw it at the animal. "He literally bricked a calf to death the second I was born! It keeled over dead and then I screamed." "Maybe the spirit of the calf was born into your body." Beca offered sarcastically. "Aww, there you are, squish ball!" Amy said adoringly and punched Beca painfully in the arm.

Cynthia-Rose and Denise had been the first to arrive at the hotel and greeted the New Yorkers enthusiastically when they met up in the lobby. "How are _you_, Mrs.?" grinned Amy at the black girl. "Well you know, we've been great." Cynthia-Rose said smiling sweetly at Denise. The two women had found each other again in junior year and had gotten married three years ago. "Urgh, I can't believe we allowed this!" grumbled Beca but let herself be embraced (and even lifted off the ground a little bit) by Cynthia-Rose. "Good to see you too, Beca!"

They went to sit at the bar to wait for everyone to arrive and fell into a pleasant conversation. Beca still felt out of her element somewhat but with the help of a Martini managed to keep up something resembling friendliness. That lasted until a shriek and a loud "Whooo, aca-bitches!" sounded in from the lobby. Everybody jumped to run toward the door of the bar to hug Aubrey and Chloe.

Beca slowly followed. As much as she tried, she could not look away from Chloe. The redhead had a way of pulling Beca's focus; she had always possessed that skill. And this year was no different. Chloe was radiant, everything about her had an innate glow: her hair sparkled like freshly minted copper coins, her eyes were the brightest blue of an exotic ocean far away, and her smile could have spanned the world in adoration. She was wearing a simple dark blue dress with a belt around her waist and faded yellow Converse. Really, she was not dressed to impress. But impress she did, at least Beca who felt her breath catching in her throat dangerously.

She had to pull herself together to avert her gaze and concentrate on welcoming Aubrey. Their greeting was a little reserved; the two had never had an easy relationship. Beca would judge Aubrey for her conservative opinions just as much as Aubrey criticized Beca's rebellion. Even though they had respect for each other, there was not much in the way of friendship. "Good to see you, Beca." "Yeah, you too." they awkwardly greeted each other.

And Beca was free to look at Chloe again while the redhead was hugging Lilly. She could see Chloe giggling and basically bubbling with excitement to see all her friends. And as crazy as everyone (and Lilly especially) was, a small part of Beca felt the same way. When Chloe and Lilly let go of each other, Beca caught a glimpse of the lady bug tattoo. Oh God.

And then Chloe was coming towards her. "Hey girl!" beamed the redhead. Beca could not help but give the widest possible version of her trademark crooked smirk. Chloe Beale. "Hey Chlo." The brunette let herself be wrapped up in all that was Chloe. She was squished against the other woman tightly, so tightly she could feel the knot of Chloe's belt through her t-shirt. Her face was buried in red curls and the enticing scent of Chloe Beale and her shampoo was all around her. As much as Beca wanted to say that the Bellas meeting was stupid, that hug alone was worth going for.

Unbeknownst to Beca and with a quiet smile playing on her lips, Chloe kept her eyes closed through the entire time the embrace lasted.

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When the Bellas finally sat down for dinner at the small Italian restaurant in town (which had been the date night of choice during their college years), it was in an excited buzz. Everybody was questioning Chloe about her wedding. It seemed all the Bellas had agreed to come. Cynthia-Rose and Denise shared some advice on how to handle bringing the brides' two families together for the day. Stacie asked if Chloe's bride had any good-looking cousins. Amy joked about the number of lesbians in the Bellas. (Boy, had she been wrong about that one out of ten rule!)

Beca quirked an eyebrow from the other end of the table where she was sitting with Lilly. Beca usually stuck to her during Bellas meetings. Lilly was good company; she didn't say much and even though what she said was terrifyingly disturbing, most of the time her voice was so small that Beca could block it out completely. Whatever the Asian had stated last had sounded like "I used to bite my dolls' heads off." Beca just gave a curt nod.

"So, Beca." Cynthia-Rose turned towards the brunette and grinned. "I heard you'll stay the weekend this year. To what do we owe this honor?" Chloe's head snapped up with a brilliant smile. "Um, well... this one here said I needed to take some time off of work." Beca answered awkwardly jabbing her thumb toward Amy who beckoned for applause and said "I did give her a little push. She didn't need a big one though, after like three beers." Chloe giggled. Glaring at the redhead and blushing, Beca went to defend herself "It was one night and I don't even know what happened. I shouldn't have... But I _am_ really happy to see you, ladies." "So are we, it's great we'll get to have for this long." Chloe smiled from the other end of the table.

Beca swallowed hard. She really wasn't sure about this weekend. All this a cappella that would surely happen at some point; she usually left before that. And this year, she would have to sit through it all. This had been a big part of her life for like a year, a year that was now so long passed. She had grown up and out of the singing and dancing. She actually got a headache when a radio played in a cab. And now, she was supposed to stay with these women for two days. All of them had carried the Bellas on somehow. Chloe, she knew, had been a part of an a cappella choir since she moved to LA. Amy at least enjoyed her karaoke nights with her hipster journalist friends. Lilly was sure to have honed her beatboxing talents, and Cynthia-Rose she had heard had taken up bass guitar lessons.

Beca rolled her shoulders and waved the waiter over. She would make it through somehow. Somehow. She ordered a double espresso to calm herself down; everyone else went for dessert and sweet wine. 'How stark can a contrast be? Why is everybody so stuck?'

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Saturday's activities were going to be the same as every year: breakfast at the hotel, then they were going off to the Barden campus. They would wander around and reminisce and meet old teachers. There was always a group photo and the obligatory song. Every year, the Bellas would gather in the empty swimming pool and give a rendition of Beca's old mashup of "Just the Way You Are" and "Just a Dream"; an activity during which Beca would excuse herself to meet her father for coffee.

The Bellas gathered in the breakfast room, some of them garnering puffy eyes and a dislike for loud noises. As they sat down Lilly greeted the group with "I collect dead flies in jam jars." The soft-spoken chatter at the table died down for a beat and then continued. Chloe looked around smiling; this was her Bellas, her family. With all these weirdos, she didn't even know who was the weirdest of them all, she thought fondly.

Beca was once again seated away from all the ruckus, next to Lilly and Ashley, the two quietest in the group. Chloe watched the small brunette; she seemed to concentrate on spreading the peanut butter onto her toast perfectly. Closing her eyes, she took a sip of her coffee. To Chloe, it was all familiar. She had had breakfast with Beca many times; and as much as things had changed in the last ten years, that hadn't. Beca was still not a morning person, she had simply gotten better at hiding that fact. She still had one peanut butter and jelly sandwich every morning. And she still drank her first coffee of the day with an air of relief, like the beverage made her herself again. (Which it probably did; Beca _did_ drink an awful lot of coffee.)

Chloe pulled her gaze off the smaller woman. No, it wasn't that this one thing hadn't changed. It was that so, so much _had_ changed. Chloe sighed, shook her head and joined in the conversation Aubrey and Stacie were having about LA.

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Two hours later, the Bellas were walking around Barden University. Like every year, Chloe had held Aubrey's hand while they were entering the campus – she remembered her college years fondly and coming back always made her very emotional. Aubrey had been imperturbable as usual, but Chloe felt a little more shaky. She sensed Aubrey's prying eyes on herself for a moment; to appease her friend, she cleared her throat and with a smile toward the blonde said "Welcome home, Bree!"

The Bella women were walking around the quad, the empty swimming pool and the dorms in twos and threes pleasantly chatting about old times. Chloe had excused herself for a while and walking behind the groups dialed her fiancee's phone number. "Hey beautiful!" came the answer promptly. "Hey baby." Chloe had known Jules would be up already, both of them being morning birds. Also, she knew her fiancee had plans to meet up with a friend today to volunteer at the pediatric oncology ward, performing for the kids.

"How is the meeting?" Jules asked. "Oh, it's amazing baby. Everyone is here and we're having the best time. We just got to campus." "I'm glad you're having a good time. So what's on the menu for today?" Chloe started rambling excitedly about the yearly group photo and their traditional rendition of the pool mashup. Jules giggled about her fiancee's enthusiasm. "Oh no, I went off on a tangent – I'm sorry, baby." "Don't you worry, sweetheart. I love it. And you!" Chloe couldn't help a wide smile spreading over her face. "I love you too, Jules. I miss you." "Aww, don't. You have me every day; you only see your girls once a year." "Twice this year" Chloe smiled, "They've all agreed to come." "And I'm very happy about it. Alrighty, I gotta go." "Have a wonderful day, baby. I love you", Chloe said. "I love you too beautiful. Go enjoy yourself. And say hi to Aubrey." "Will do. Bye", Chloe responded and hung up.

The day progressed as it did every year. The Bellas walked around campus talking pictures of each other and chatting. They met some old professors who of course still remembered the victorious ladies. They wandered through their old rehearsal space. They took a group photo in front of the entrance gate. They excitedly started off towards the empty pool for the mashup, and sure enough Beca excused herself like every year. Chloe's eyes followed the petite brunette as she walked away from the group and towards the Humanities building.

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_Ten years ago – Chloe's POV_

_After what had been the most tumultuous gathering the Bellas rehearsal space would ever see, the group convened in the empty swimming pool. The pool was almost an institution on Barden campus by itself; most of the a cappella traditions were tied to that place. And it seemed to be the right place for a new start. _

_Aubrey had gotten a call from the ICCA board that the Bellas had entered the finals after all. She had called the girls (minus Beca) and then everything had gone wrong. Chloe had admitted to having called Beca. Cynthia-Rose and Amy had agreed that they couldn't go back and needed to include the brunette. Aubrey for once had let go; literally, there had been vomit all over the place; everybody had been screaming, running around or actually physically fighting. And of course that had been the moment that Beca had showed up. And in what Chloe had found to be worthy of the label of a miracle, Aubrey had stood back and handed the reins over. _

_With Beca leading them confidently, the Bellas created magic in the next minutes. The song Aubrey had picked and the song of Beca's choosing flowed together seamlessly, with a matching rhythm and interlinking lyrics, creating a piece that was much greater than the sum of its parts. When the Bellas' voices had faded out their final notes, Chloe could only stare in awe at what Beca had done. In a matter of minutes, she had transformed not only the two pieces of music but also the Bellas. They would never be the same again. _


	4. Chapter 3B

[A/N: The second part of the Bellas meeting. I'm sorry it took so long but work is being a (very needy and clingy) bitch at the moment.

There is an abundance of songs I used in this chapter. Here are some links:  
Pink "Get this party started": watch?v=RD6V6HPccbY  
Bill Withers "Ain't no sunshine": watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo  
Roberta Flack "The first time ever I saw your face": watch?v=hOFrGbuUqnQ

Aubrey sings a mashup of these two songs. Sadly, I don't think it exists but here are its components:  
The Beatles "Hard day's night": watch?v=Eepw7LCa2SQ  
Bruce Springsteen "Independence Day": watch?v=sKf8Bi0ggi4

Sister Sledge "We are family": watch?v=eBpYgpF1bqQ  
Michael Jackson "Music and me": watch?v=mFCTWQXx0QI

You can find my blog on Tumblr also as jcback.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Three B

Present day – Chloe's POV

After dinner, the Bellas started out for another of their yearly traditions: the local karaoke bar. Sure, the activity definitely wasn't comparable to a cappella but the women all being accomplished and enthusiastic musicians, they obviously enjoyed a night of song with their friends. They gathered in two booths towards the back of the location and ordered drinks. Saturday was usually the crazy night of the Bellas meeting but Chloe didn't feel like going all out tonight. Still, one drink couldn't hurt she thought and got a Gin & Tonic.

It was Amy who rushed to the first performance. "Of course it would be Amy!" Chloe thought fondly. The confident blonde had absolutely no reservations and chose a great number to get their night on the road, Pink's "Get This Party Started". Amy's bold and mellow vocals matched the voice on the original track nicely and naturally the Australian was combining her song with an extraordinary on-the-spot dance routine. Chloe giggled as Amy pretended to drive a car, did the mash potato and simply jumped around like a crazy person.

It wasn't before long that the Bellas joined in; one by one, they came up to the stage sharing the four microphones the bar offered. Chloe sadly shrugged at the offer. Even though she had had surgery on her nodes during college, her voice box sometimes still acted up, and she had exhausted her voice a little bit during the pool mashup earlier. As she had expected, Beca also refused to join the others saying something about a cold and giving a halfhearted sort of a cough.

Making up her mind, Chloe smiled and moved to sit next to the brunette. "Hey you!" she grinned. Beca looked up and her first surprised gaze turned into a knowing smirk. "Hey Chlo. Why're you not up there?" Chloe could hear the sarcasm disapproving of the Bellas' exuberance in Beca's tone but let it pass. "My voice is weird today, don't think I should be screaming. And Pink has to be screamed." she winked.

The two women fell silent. This was one of the things Chloe had always appreciated about their friendship in college. Even though they shared several interests and were good at conversing about them, Chloe and Beca had always been able to share comfortable silences. Chloe had felt so at ease in the brunette's presence that she could relax and stop her excited rambles for once. Beca, it seemed, had also appreciated the silences. She would smile – actually smile not smirk – at the redhead. Chloe was sure her friend was pondering her next mixes in those moments; her head bobbing up and down ever so slightly, always a rhythm in the fingertips dancing over a knee.

Chloe went back to watching their friends who were now dancing and jumping around on the small stage. The playback ended but instead of finishing the Bellas started the song all over again, a cappella in a pretty decent, spontaneous version. It was a testament to the group's emotional closeness for them to fall into an on-the-spot harmony so easily after so many years. Chloe giggled and merrily clapped along; when she felt Beca's gaze on her, she turned towards the brunette giving her a bright smile.

One corner of Beca's mouth rose in one of her typical crooked half-smirks. "Hey Chloe" Beca started. "Congrats on the wedding." Chloe's smile grew wider still. "Thanks. I'm really glad you'll be there. It wouldn't be the same." Chloe said truthfully. She would have liked to question the weird look the brunette gave her at that. But before she could do anymore than preface her inquiry with a quirked eyebrow, the Bellas on stage finally finished their performance with a grand finale. Letting the moment go, the two women sitting out applauded their friends – admittedly with differing degrees of enthusiasm – and welcomed them back to the sitting area with cheers and a round of high fives.

The one Bella who did not rejoin them at the tables was Cynthia-Rose who took to the stage next. She gave a wide smile in the direction of Denise and started singing "Ain't no sunshine". It was a lovely and soulful rendition and Chloe marveled at Cynthia-Rose's timbre. Even though her own voice had gone through at least one major change, Chloe would never achieve that raspy, warm dark red of the other woman's tone. But envy was not in her nature, so she simply enjoyed being impressed by her friend's talent again.

Looking around, she saw that even with the abrupt change in pace and sentiment of the song selection, Cynthia-Rose had captured all the Bellas' attention. Denise of course was looking up at her wife adoringly – "Oh, she's getting some tonight!" Chloe giggled internally. Aubrey was looking on with what would look like a straight face to an outsider; Chloe, however, saw how touched her best friend really was. In her usual whisper-like voice, Lilly subtly beat boxed along to Cynthia-Rose's song. Amy swayed softly from left to right in her chair, mouthing the lyrics and gesturing dramatically.

Next, Chloe's gaze fell on Beca. The brunette had an arched eyebrow quirked slightly, her mouth for once not engaged in a smirk. To anyone, Beca did not betray any emotion, she seemed calm and untouched by the heartfelt performance. To Chloe, it was different; she knew Beca too well. Meeting her had been a forever ago but it was still as fresh on her mind as on the actual day.

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_Eleven years ago – Chloe's POV_

_It had been the start of her and Aubrey's senior year. After the debacle at the previous year's ICCA finals, Aubrey had been hyperventilating it seemed, in a very Aubrey kind of a way. She had fiercely worked out and trained her voice, even more than usual. When the day of the activities fair had finally come (they both had been dreading the date somewhat), they had set up their booth and started flyering. Amy had been the first recruit. (Aubrey had not been ready to think of her that way yet.) Aubrey, in Alice's – the old Bellas captain's – spirit had been looking for a homogenous looking, all-American group to replace their old teammates. Chloe had harbored a different approach. She had wanted to find talented performers no matter what they looked like and have the Bellas become a musical thunderstorm so awesome no one would care whether they all had the proclaimed bikini-ready bodies. _

_When Amy had proved that she could match pitch perfectly and Aubrey had said those magical words –"I'll see you at auditions." – a step in the right direction had been taken, Chloe had found. With new optimism, she had started looking around for other potentials. _

_She hadn't quite known what had hit her but she had most definitely been blown away. Chloe's eyes had been drawn towards a petite figure wandering around aimlessly between the booths. It had been as if her vision had zoomed in on the brunette so much that everything else seemed blurry and out of focus. Chloe's breath had gotten caught in her throat at the same time as it had quickened. She had swallowed hard and pulled herself back into the moment at hand and had nudged Aubrey. "What about her?" she had stammered. _

_From the look in Aubrey's eyes Chloe had been able to tell that the blonde was not impressed by what she saw. Somehow, the redhead had known that this would become interesting and important. How right she had been. _

_A few weeks later, when auditions were over and Chloe had spent some time with Beca, she had finally understood what had happened that day at the activities fair. For an entire day, she had hummed a song from her childhood, one her father had sung during summer nights on the porch:_

_The first time ever I saw your face  
__I thought the sun rose in your eyes  
__And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave  
__To the dark and the endless skies, my love,  
__To the dark and the endless skies._

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Remembering the long-passed autumn day, watching Beca listening as Cynthia-Rose finished her number, Chloe wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. She could still read Beca and knew that if her friend really didn't care her about the performance, her posture would be quite different; she would be leaning back against the back of the bench with her arms crossed. She would roll her shoulders and stare off into space. Right now, it was different. Beca sat up rather straight, her left hand kneading her chin, the elbow rested on her knee; she was looking towards the stage with a vacant expression. As much as the brunette projected her snarky attitude towards the tune, Chloe saw all her fear, all her doubting – and doubted – disbelief, and also something akin to yearning in her friend's ocean-like eyes.

Dragging her eyes away, Chloe looked around at Aubrey again. The blonde seemed to have distracted herself from Cynthia-Rose's performance and was at this moment sharing a look with Amy. Amy, not noticing that Chloe was watching them gave a small nod. Before Chloe could make reference to the weird exchange, the other Bellas erupted into applause for Cynthia-Rose who grinned and hopped off the stage into her wife's arms.

The night continued with songs from pretty much all the Bellas. Everyone was getting rather drunk so the performances got ever more outrageous. Chloe was shocked to see a very tipsy Aubrey stand up to improvise an almost sobbed a cappella mashup. "A mashup! Of all things." Chloe thought. As difficult as Aubrey and Beca's relationship had always been, Chloe knew that Aubrey was impressed by Beca's natural talent at everything that was music. She certainly seemed to have influenced the blonde.

Now I don't know what it always was with us  
We chose the words and yeah we drew the lines  
But when I get home to youI find the things that you do  
Will make me feel alright  
We'll say goodbye it's independence day  
It's independence day all boys must run away  
Well papa go to bed now it's getting late  
Nothing we can say can change anything now

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Present day – Beca's POV

Beca looked up from the table where she had been pensively fingering the grain of the wood. Did Aubrey really just do a mashup? She stared at the blonde incredulously. She had always thought that while Aubrey had a good command over her vocals, she had difficulty making a tune and its lyrics her own. Aubrey was a cover band compared to some of the other Bellas' inspiration. "It's probably only because she's drunk. She'd never be able to pull something like this off sober." Beca's mind whispered somewhat viciously before the brunette stopped herself. "Whatever!"

Beca could not resist and sneaked a glance at Chloe. The redhead sat next to her with her mouth half open staring at her best friend. Bewildered at what could possibly be going through Chloe's mind, Beca watched as the redhead changed from surprised to sad and then swallowed hard. Next, she slowly turned towards Beca and gave her a look that was somewhere between grief and wonder. Beca felt the urge to questioningly quirk an eyebrow but was cut off by Chloe giving her a sad little smile and a nod. Then, the redhead turned towards the stage again.

"What was that all about?" Beca wondered and begrudgingly also returned her attention to Aubrey's performance. Beatles, that was easy; Aubrey was going to the standards as usual. But Springsteen? "Not too shabby, Posen." Oh, what the hell! Aubrey was an insanely ambitious workaholic, and for once she was letting her hair down. She would probably not remember any of this in the morning.

Had she not gotten drunk with Amy a few weeks ago, Beca would not be here to witness this performance anyway. She would be on the way back to New York reading her book on search engine optimization or Accounting Weekly, one of the industry's most popular journals. Probably she would already be on the subway or getting into her apartment where she would not have had to deal with all this headache-inducing noise, all these people she didn't even really know anymore and all these panic-stricken moments when she would think about how they would convene again soon, for the wedding.

It was with dread that Beca imagined the occasion. She was sure Chloe was organizing a princess-themed wedding with a bridal party made up of all the Bellas who would of course be wearing matching dresses... There would be a reception with forced seating and awkward dance partners, too sweet cake and the choice between booze and badly brewed coffee. It would be another weekend, that she could have used perfectly for research or some big projects, which would again be wasted on social obligations.

Beca was pulled out of her horrifying visions by a soft hand on her wrist. Beca's gaze trailed along the toned arm, over the auburn curls and up to Chloe's smile. "We could use another alto up there, Bec." said the redhead. Beca exhaled a breath that felt like it had been held way too long. With a little cough, she answered: "I can't, sorry. This stupid cold..." Beca saw Chloe's shoulders droop, her smile faltering somewhat in defeat. "Righty then." the redhead said feigning cheeriness and walked towards the other Bellas on the stage.

They waved off the young man at the DJ's desk who asked what playback they wanted and huddled around Aubrey and Chloe. It took a good five minutes for them to finish their hushed discussion; most of them, including Aubrey, were pretty wasted by now. Beca pulled her eyebrows up sarcastically as she watched them up there. It seemed so silly: they were all grown women with families and careers who still held on to their college hobbies. "Maybe they still have posters of boy bands on their bedroom walls..." Beca's mind suggested bringing a smirk to the brunette's face.

Everyone can see we're together  
As we walk on by  
And we fly just like birds of a feather  
I won't tell no lie

"Oh no." thought Beca. "Oh no, they don't!" She snorted into her Ginger Ale and started coughing.

All of the people around us they say  
Can they be that close  
Just let me state for the record  
We're giving love in a family dose

That had to be _the_ most ridiculous, most cliché song ever written. That was only ever sung at sorority reunions. Which, point proven, sort of. Beca could hardly contain her laughter as Amy drunkenly threw her arm around Aubrey's shoulder, pulling the blonde into a kind of a one-armed bear hug. Stacie was on Aubrey's other side, a long arm slung intimately around her former captain's waist. Somehow, the looks Stacie was giving Aubrey didn't seem very family-like to Beca – but then again, Stacie had never really looked at anyone in a way that had been appropriate. Cynthia-Rose and Denise were singing to each other with facial expressions that would have been deemed too over-the-top for the big finale of an 80s dance movie. Chloe was wedged between Lilly and Ashley, and the three women were hopping up and down on stage.

While the other patrons seemed to enjoy the performance, Beca had gone back to brooding. "One more day" she thought. By the look of most of the other Bellas, she would have time to go to the Barden library, borrow a book and just sit on the quad and read tomorrow. While everyone else was tending to their hangovers. Quite a good prospect, Beca thought. Even though there was clearly some karaoke night left. Maybe she could just head to the hotel already and get some sleep.

Looking around to see how good her chances were on that account, Beca found that the other patrons of the karaoke bar were cheering and giving the Bellas a standing ovation. The group formed a line on stage (which came out as more of a zigzag-y curve) and tried for a coordinated bow, which failed spectacularly with everyone staggering around mostly. To the laughter and clapping of the bar, the women left the stage and walked towards their tables.

Amy stormed ahead of everyone and directly to Beca who out of instinct ducked further into the back of the bench. Amy didn't care and pulled Beca out of the corner and into her arms. "Aww" the Australian slurred into Beca's ear. "Come on, my favorite squish ball. Live a little! You love this!" "Huh?" Beca managed to grunt. "But you do, Bec!" Amy went on. "Just because you've been a tight ass for a decade now, doesn't mean you don't. It's gotta be in there somewhere!" Amy poked a finger roughly at Beca's temple. With a frown, Beca wrestled out of Amy's tight hold and sat back down. "You're drunk, Amy." she stated flatly. "And you're grumpy." Amy deadpanned and moved towards the other table.

At that moment, the music started again with a soft acoustic guitar. After two bars, a deep and warm voice started singing:

We've been together  
For such a long time  
Now, music, music and me

Beca's head snapped up at the sound; she knew that voice everywhere. And sure enough, despite her described issues with her nodes today, there was Chloe, singing a solo – this solo. As the Bellas appreciatively giggled at the much lower key of Chloe's version Beca wrecked her brain, "Did I ever tell her?"

I only know  
Wherever I go  
We're as close as two friends can be  
There have been others  
But never two lovers  
Like music, music and me

Chloe was looking straight at Beca and Beca still couldn't remember – actually this light-blue gaze was the opposite of helping.

This song had been one of her favorites as a child; her mother would sing it to her when she tucked her in. Through high school and her freshman year at college, this song seemed to express her innermost core. But did Chloe know her history with the tune? It certainly seemed so; as much as the redhead was concentrating on the monitor with the lyrics and grinning at all the Bellas in turn, Beca still had the feeling that Chloe turned towards her more often, with a knowing smile and the occasional wink.

Beca felt her face distort into something akin to a sad smile during the performance. Chloe responded with a small nod. "God! Why does my face do that?!" Beca told herself off and extinguished all expression from her face again. In what Beca thought quite a bold – and unfair – move Chloe drew out her arm and subtly pointed towards Beca.

Grab a song and come along  
You can sing your melody  
In your mind you will find  
A world of sweet harmony

"Who does she think she is?" Beca thought as Chloe finished the number and to claps from the Bellas joined her friends in the booth again.

Beca was glad there were several people between her and where Chloe chose to sit down. She could not deal with the redhead right now. Beca could not remember ever having told her about the song but Chloe had seemed so confident and as if she was singing specifically to Beca. But how could she have known really?!

"This whole meeting was a bad idea from the start!" Beca internally continued her ill-humored musings. She should just have rebooked the flights for her to leave on Saturday afternoon as usual. She was not cut out for this kind of social gathering, she had never been. She had always preferred getting lost something other than people.

Since it would have been blatantly rude to pull out a book in the middle of the bar, Beca spent the next while observing everybody with a frown on her face and scoffing at their petty high spirits and silliness.

When the night had run its course, Beca gladly returned to her hotel room and took a shower. She felt like she had to wash the past hours off: there were too many imagines that kept running through her mind. The look Chloe had given her during Aubrey's performance. All the Bellas running to join Amy during the first song of the night. Chloe's eyes sparkling in the colorful lights around the stage. Cynthia-Rose looking at Denise while singing. Chloe's deep voice almost physically touching the inside of her chest during "Music and Me". Chloe's winks and knowing smiles. Chloe. With a rough and abrupt twist of her hand, Beca shut off the hot water. She had learned – over the past weeks – of the great power cold water could hold.

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Sunday morning went by in a blur. Beca got up early after an uneasy night and had breakfast on her own. She was not surprised that the other women were in need of more rest. She went for a lonely yet peaceful walk across campus. And after what seemed like no time at all, she was hugging most of the Bellas goodbye in the lobby and boarding a cab to the airport with Amy, Aubrey and Chloe.

This was something Amy had come up with. It had been with a loud scream that the Australian had realized the two flights the friends were taking were almost synched up and had suggested sharing the taxi. Beca usually would have appreciated the opportunity to save a few bucks but not if it came at the price of being stuck between a somewhat queasy-looking Aubrey (who was clearly still working on getting over that hangover) and the ever tempting Chloe. Which of course it did. Because she, Beca, was the smallest and got pressured (literally) to sit in the middle of the back seat. And Amy (who would totally hear about that later) had commandeered the passenger's seat immediately. Beca tried to not breathe more than absolutely necessary because she was not only squished between the two women but also between Aubrey's still boozy breath and the flowers-and-spring scent of Chloe. The worst thing about her situation was that Beca could not decide which side of the car was more dangerous.

The four women walked through the terminal and dropped off their luggage. The LA flight left a little earlier so after getting lattes to go (well, and one iced dark roast), Amy and Beca walked the West Coasters to their gate. They promised to talk more often, they thanked each other for the time (Aubrey did so with the least words), Amy and Beca congratulated Chloe again. Then came the time for hugs. Amy and Chloe were exchanging a few words so after her rather speedy goodbye to Aubrey, Beca let her mind go on a journey...

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_Ten years earlier – Beca's POV_

_She had known; she had been prepared for it. Nothing would change really. The year was over and except for the addition of a pitch pipe to her desk, nothing would be any different. It was the last day of Beca's freshman year. The seniors had graduated, turned their tassels, gotten drunk, packed their bags and were ready for their next life. _

_Chloe had gotten a little weird over the last weeks, more clingy and more distant at the same time. They had talked about it. About how Beca was rather confident she would manage captaining the Bellas. About how she would spend some more time at college and think about LA again next year. About how Chloe was going to start working in a kindergarten in the big city soon. How they would visit. And how nothing would change really..._

_With the van packed with Aubrey and Chloe's belongings and ready to go, they had been standing there. Chloe and Beca. Beca had looked at her friend and had been sure. She would miss that overbearing, silly girl a little bit, but life at Barden would go its crazy ways. _

_They had shared sad (and in Beca's case, crooked) smiles and a long hug. It had been a good hug, Beca had found. As far as hugs went (because really, personal space _was_ a thing), in Beca's opinion, Chloe hugs were pretty far up there. _

_They redhead had sneaked a kiss on Beca's cheek and with a wink gotten in the van. _

_Seeing it drive off, Chloe practically hanging out of the passenger's side window, her reddest of red curls dancing in the wind, Beca had lifted her hand in farewell. And for a moment, everything had stopped. She could actually hear a loud "clunk!" from inside her chest. _

_Whatever had been, wasn't anymore. And whatever that "clunk!" had been, its echoes kept resounding and wouldn't stop. _

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Present day – Beca's POV

"C'mere!" woke Beca from her thoughts and she was pulled into a meadow of morning dew. She floated away on violet clouds. The sun was beaming down and bathing all in sight into yellow golden lights.

Whatever it had been...


	5. Chapter 4

[A/N: I'm sorry I took so long. I really need a new job since this one is keeping me from everything.

You can find my blog on Tumblr also as jcback.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Four

Present day – Beca's POV

Beca Mitchell floated through time and space; she saw galaxies and eons passing her. She was caressed by the wings of hummingbirds. Butterflies danced an entrancing rhythm on her oh so fragile heart. Featherlight touches of red fluttered over her temple.

After what seemed like a century, Beca dared to open her eyes again. Her gaze was met by Chloe's well-known light blue. The redhead had pulled back, the smile on her lips the widest and most heartfelt Beca had ever seen. She had to. She couldn't not. Protecting herself was nothing, nothing compared to what was possible here. As if to adjust to her friend's, Beca's eyes grew lighter, the dark gray slowly dissipating. All of the joy possible seemed to pour out of her as a wide smile – the first real smile in years – graced her features.

Chloe's eyes sparkled invitingly. The magnetic pull of a hundred years started in a matter of seconds. Beca did not understand at all, yet nothing would ever make more sense than Chloe seemingly growing larger at this very moment. The redhead was leaning in slightly, the motion subtle yet steady.

Beca was swimming the depths of the sea. She was accompanied by wondrous creatures in brightest colors and she let her arm sink, trailing her hand through the softest sand. The water held her in its balmy embrace, she was safe from all earthly harm.

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Beca came up from the ocean's ground abruptly. She opened her eyes to her gray-walled apartment. Her alarm clock was beeping wildly on the nightstand and the white light of the morning came in through the blinds. It took her a second to shake off her sleepiness and that minute was enough to also chase away the remnants of memory of her previous phantasies. All Beca could recall was a rush of wind in her hair and a growing pressure on her eardrums.

Beca shook her head to clear her thoughts, she rolled her shoulders and sat up in bed. After this weekend, her life would go back to normal. No more singing and dancing. She would go back to what she knew. Marketing plans and back cover copy and budgets and print runs. It was with determination and relief that she took up her projects again later that day. Her usual black Greek morning concoction had helped find her routine again. She sure had missed the beverage in Atlanta.

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Chloe had started her Monday morning with a kiss for her fiancée and a glass of freshly pressed orange juice Jules had held out to her in the kitchen. As per usual, the two women had had breakfast together before leaving for work. While Jules prepared their oatmeal, Chloe hugged her from behind and rested her head on the other woman's shoulder. "It's good to be back" the redhead said. "And it's good to have you back, beautiful. You had a good time, huh?" – "The best!" Chloe beamed. "But coming home is good. I did miss you, you know." – "I do know, honey. And I've missed you."

When she was in her car to work, Chloe hummed along to the radio and found herself musing about the past few days. It was always amazing to see her college friends. It was weird but over the short period of just one year, they had become a family. They were as loving, diverse, weird, codependent, supporting and dysfunctional as families got. Chloe could not imagine who and how she would be today if it hadn't been for Lilly's absurd comments, for Amy's hardly bearable yet most lovable insanity, for Cynthia-Rose's winking badassery and unwavering support.

She wasn't even sure she'd ever been a person let alone herself without Aubrey. Despite all her flaws, Aubrey was the one person Chloe could always depend on. Since that fateful day they first had moved into their dorm room at Tomlin Hall, the two had been friends, sharing everything from late-night study crazes at the library and stories about girls and boys to the painful suffering through Bellas rehearsals under Alice's reign. With Aubrey's help, Chloe had become a more focussed student and had improved her vocal chops; she had grown more confident in her abilities. Aubrey, on the other hand, had let go somewhat, learning to enjoy life a little (even though it didn't seem much to anyone else) and trusting Chloe enough to impart a few drunk – and sober! – rants about her father on the redhead.

No, someone, or something had meant well the day the roommates had been drawn that year. The experience of hundreds did not prove right in Chloe and Aubrey's case. But Chloe knew that they had been very lucky in that regard. Most people ended up with the weirdest of roommates. If she only thought of the stories Beca had relayed about her roommate, Kimmy Jin...

Beca. Chloe smiled sadly. Yes, Beca too had influenced her greatly. Of course. The brunette was her mirror image. Or had been. Where Chloe was positive, Beca was as pessimistic as they came. Chloe's instant trust and smiles were the opposite to Beca's skepticism and smirks. Where Chloe was the social butterfly, Beca was the lone wolf hiding behind her headphones. Or she had. Music had been the one thing that instantaneously connected the two girls.

The rush hour traffic forced Chloe to slow down. Fingering her ladybug tattoo, Chloe thought about the moments she had shared with Beca over the weekend. She had once so fully understood this foreign, foreign, yet so much loved little creature. Now it seemed the brunette was a completely different person. "Of course she is!" Chloe told herself forcefully. She could not have imagined a Beca without music a decade ago. That was almost a blasphemy.

The younger woman had lived and breathed and been music. Everything about her was always in movement. At least to Chloe, it seemed that the brunette was always emitting the dreaminess that was deeply rooted in higher calling. Beca had been music incarnate. And nowadays, the music was gone. And with it, Beca. The Beca that had been of so much inspiration to Chloe. Who had taught her the beauty of dark night skies. The Beca who had shown her how difference was the best confirmation a soul could ever get – while affirming that none of that was ever necessary.

With "Music and me", Chloe had made Beca smile. Which was a rare achievement in itself. But it had been a sad smile. Chloe knew full well that Beca was more than capable of such a thing as a genuine and genuinely happy smile.

"No!" Chloe said out loud. The traffic had started accelerating again and Chloe kept up. She shook her head determinedly. "This is enough!" she thought. Whatever had happened, couldn't go on. Beca had gone off on what seemed like a very much prolonged, and somewhat offended, rant. And Chloe wanted it to stop. Ten years was more than enough!

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With her assigned group of kids mostly in good spirits and with only one minor mishap where three-year-old Joshua painfully stepped on a Lego brick, Chloe saw her day passing fairly quickly. She always enjoyed being around the children and after her eventful weekend, her job proved calming once again. It was her turn to watch over nap hour so she only had a short while to herself. She had not forgotten about the decision she had made in the morning but forced herself not to dwell on it for now. Looking over the sheet music for her choir's next performance over her salad was enough to keep her mind otherwise engaged during her short lunch break.

After waving her goodbyes to the last children to leave that day, Chloe pulled out her phone and sent a short text to her sister. Joy was coming over to dinner that night and Chloe had offered that they drive together. The redhead also messaged Aubrey inquiring after her health. The blonde had gone a little too crazy on the booze Saturday night and the flight home had not helped. As usual, Chloe had been there to hold Aubrey's hair back and provided her with a hot cup of tea before heading home herself the night before.

Two hours later, Chloe and Joy were busying themselves in the kitchen preparing dinner. After greeting her fiancée and her sister, Jules had started setting the table, something she took great pride in. Joy giggled as her sister-in-law to-be spent a minute on folding each paper napkin into a neat rose. The cutlery was perfectly aligned and Jules even polished one of the tall wine glasses again. She laid out an intricate pattern of daisies in the middle of the table. Chloe watched her fiancée, her eyes trailing the outlines of the design, a quiet smile appearing on her face.

The three women were enjoying their pasta and wine when Joy with an exasperated sigh asked Chloe about her weekend, "Come on Chlo – let's get this over with. You wanna talk about it; I'm willing to listen right now." Chloe side-eyed her sister while Jules giggled: "Yeah, go on, baby. You did have a great time, didn't you?!" Chloe cleared her throat. "Well, I did have a great time. And it was lovely to see the ladies again." Joy stuck her tongue out: "Uh huh... Same procedure as every year though? Awkwardness and bringing everyone up-to-date Friday night and Aubrey getting shit-faced on Saturday?" Chloe nodded, "Pretty much, yeah. But this year, Beca stayed a bit longer. You know how she usually only stays until Saturday afternoon. But this time we actually left together." – "Did you now? Well, you haven't done that in a while!" Joy guffawed, a wide grin spreading on her face. Chloe blushed violently and shot a bashful glance at her fiancée. "No! Jeez, ass hat! Her and Amy's flight left like 20 minutes after ours last night so we shared a cab to the airport. Jules, don't believe a word this woman says. God! How am I even related to you?!" Jules raised an eyebrow, "Interesting... Go on, Joy!" – "Well, Chloe did like that chick a lot in college..." Joy teased and Jules turned towards her fiancée. At that, Chloe's eyes widened and with a fairly high voice, she said "Aca-scuse me? My sister is telling lies, nothing but filthy lies!" Jules snorted out loudly: "Baby, I'm just joking. You know that, right?!" Jules sent a bright smile towards Chloe.

Who in turn blushed, nodded and looked at her sister.

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Present day – Beca's POV

Life in New York City followed its grayish paths. Beca got wrapped up in work as much as usual and also as usual hardly complained about it. She found little time to contemplate anything other than the big conference her boss was getting ready for, so that even on the weekends she tried getting presentations and sales sheets in order. Amy called her up regularly to try and get her out of the groove but failed spectacularly – Beca was submerged completely and by choice.

Or that's what it seemed like.

During most nights, the brunette would wake up bewildered, remembering only fragments of confused dreams of autumn leaves, brownstone buildings, and clouds of lightning bugs, all in hues of tender dark red and auburn. Every time this happened, she was drenched in sweat and her heart was beating out of her chest. Beca would need a few minutes to calm down, she would have a glass of water and sometimes one of the cold showers that had long become friends of hers. She would lay back down, and toss and turn, trying to remember more of what her mind had just composed, and finally fall back into a not restful sleep.

These nights were followed by mornings of horror. Beca drank twice the amount of Greek roast. The circles under her eyes became darker and more prominent. Once she caught herself rolling her shoulders so much while on the train to work that she actually almost danced – at which, she abruptly stopped the movement. She often found herself absentmindedly tracing the lines of her grasshopper tattoo thinking of that alluring Chloe Beale. Why ever.

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One Friday morning after a particular bad crimson dream, Beca wandered around her apartment and realized that she had actually taken her Bellas scarf out of her dresser and given it a new home on her bedroom windowsill. "Oh my fucking God!" she said out loud, crumpling the garment up in her fist and throwing it across the room. She sat down on her bed and rubbed her eyes. "Can I stop with this college shit? I'm a grown up now. Urgh!" Beca got up and deciding she couldn't deal with any of this now, left her apartment for work without breakfast.

She got her coffee and a bagel at the Greek deli on the corner and while waiting for the train, pulled out her phone. She clicked on Amy's number and sent a short message: "Are you free for a couple of drinks tonight? -B". It only took a minute for the Australian to respond with "Yup, sure thing. Usual, 8?" Surprised at her friend's quick response, Beca settled the date after she had boarded the train into Manhattan.

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Entering the bar that night, Beca found that Amy was already there, sipping on a beer and waving the brunette over to where another golden brew was waiting for her. "Hey." Beca greeted absentmindedly, and Amy engulfed her in one of her trademark bear hugs. "Hola chica!" the Australian brightly replied.

Without another word, Beca took a large sip of her beer before shrugging off her messenger bag and denim jacket, sitting down and taking another gulp of the beverage. Her eyes widening in surprise, Amy questioned her friend's actions and Beca explained her earlier realization with short words: "You know, this seems so silly. It's all just affecting me too much – which is silly in itself. All this Barden stuff... I have never really let go off those years because they did form me. I wouldn't be me without that time. But I have to realize that it's over. College is over and being hung up on times past does not and will not ever help me. So, it's gonna end." Beca finished her speech with a deafening nod and took up her glass again, shooting Amy a challenging look. Amy stared for a few seconds and then murmured sighing, "Sure changed you, Bec."

Yes, she would stop all this now, Beca told herself. She would cut it off. There would be no more Bellas meetings for her. She would pack a box with all her memorabilia from her college years. And she'd either put it away or simply burn it. Yeah, burning it seemed like a fantastic idea actually.

Somehow, burning everything left from her college years became a better idea in Beca's mind with every sip of beer. Not that she needed any encouragement in her plan but it sure couldn't hurt to have someone on her side – even if that someone was only her own mind. Amy clearly wasn't. Beca caught the blonde critically looking at her in between her remarks about Beca's booze consumption. "I'm sure she means well, somehow..." Beca's mind offered as Amy's hand landed softly on Beca's forearm to stop her from ordering her sixth beer. Beca had to agree. She was over this bar; there had to be some other places in New York City where an adult woman could hang out on a Friday night. Right?!

An hour later, Amy and Beca found themselves on a white lounge couch in a fancy club. They were bathed in neon-colored lights and Beca had moved on to drinking cocktails. Beca giggled at the umbrella in her drink. And at how people moved. Wasn't that weird?! There was couches, like in a huge communal living room. Yet, there were people dancing in between the couches. Who would do that – dance between couches? Funky... One of the dancers was a dark-haired woman, looking at Beca.

The people moved slowly to a relaxed beat, talking and laughing. Amy was next to her, holding a bottle of water. So many colors and reflections. So many faces and bodies. In between them, again and again, she saw the face half hidden behind almost black tresses. Beca's eyes felt slow. The woman kept looking. Amy excused herself with a lot of very perfect words; Beca let her eyes follow her friend. Amy danced; the classic upright form. Thankfully, not the mermaid kind.

And now, there was the dark-haired woman. One second, she had been across the dance floor. Now, she had found the bit of couch right next to Beca. Almost touching. Weird. "Hi, I'm Trish." A fumbled handshake and lopsided grin – or something like it. "Beca." Eyes wandering. Pretty. More shiny lights. Somehow, not many words were needed. No words actually. A few gazes. Trish standing in front of her with her hand held out. Yes. That was the right thing now. Beca forced her left eye shut for a second. Her goodbye wink to Amy. Giggling. The Aussie's face was too funny, all shocked like that.

A blurry cab ride. The lights flying by. Big, brown eyes looking at her. Trish. Uh huh. Yes. The other woman's hand on Beca's thigh. The cab ride became messy after that. Hands on arms, cupped over cheeks and around necks, pulling at elbows. Fidgeting with cash. Readjusting the tip generously. Closing the cab's door on the second attempt.

Trish fumbling with her keys. Beca giggling. Giggling! Big brown eyes faux-judging. A wink. And the hands again, entangled in brown hair pulling, pulling. Forgetful the cool night air compared to urgent kisses. The porch just enough. Staggering against the door frame with abandon. Trish's forearm stopping Beca's shoulder from ringing all the doorbells. Refocusing on the keys. Beca's hands possessively around Trish's waist. Another two minutes on the elevator.

Time changed then. There was pushing onto a bed and pulling back by the thighs. Ripping off a tank top; almost luxurious unbuttoning of jeans. There was more hands, gruffly, tenderly, shy and intimate. There was more lips, on lips, shoulders, breasts and thighs. There was movement and stillness, fast and slow. It was needy and clingy, it was damp and detached.

Beca was half-way there, as if separated from her own body by a veil of drunkenness. She touched but never felt. She watched but didn't see. She was pleased but couldn't enjoy. Slowly, ever so slowly, her tipsy sight became clearer.

It had made all the sense in the world to go with Trish and as Beca got into a cab as the spring morning sun slowly kept over the horizon, it still made sense. But it seemed the night had triggered a memory that came over her as soon as the taxi turned the corner out of Trish's street: The night of the riff-off in her freshmen year at Barden was one of those haunting memories. Beca knew the pictures of that night were still engrained in her mind but she chose to put them far away and not look at them. Every once in a while, they would force themselves to the surface and it seemed now was another one of those moments where they encircled Beca, closing in on her.

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_Eleven years ago – Beca's POV_

_With Justin declaring Beca's rendition of "No diggity" ineligible to win the Bellas the night, the Treblemakers had pounded their chests in celebration and Aubrey had pulled her team aside ordering them to go to bed and show up the next morning for an early impromptu rehearsal. The blonde clearly hadn't been happy with the way the competition had gone and if her angry stares in Beca's direction were anything to go from, the brunette had been sure to know who the captain was blaming for their defeat. _

_With hanging heads, the ladies of the Bellas had trudged off towards their respective dorms, sharing secret looks and texting after they had all gotten in. It was no surprise that everyone (sans Aubrey and her redheaded lieutenant) had met up again shortly after at the empty swimming pool to rejoin the spontaneous party that had broken out in celebration of the Trebles' win. It had been a surprise, however, that said lieutenant had showed up half an hour later, a bashful smile on her face. It had been Amy who had seen her first (or acknowledged because Beca had recognized that copper sheen immediately) and called the Bellas together for a huge group hug around Chloe. Beca had politely stayed back during the ritual, opting to only pat Denise on the back. _

_Chloe had giggled as everyone let her go and beamed at Beca as she came into view between Cynthia-Rose and Amy. Beca had responded with a lopsided smirk and watched the redhead walk towards her. Just like during their first campus party, Chloe had taken her by both hands and with a smile looked deep into her eyes. It had been much more soberly than the first time, however, when she had said: "Well done, Bec. That was awesome!"_

_The sober hadn't lasted long though... not much later, most people had been pretty hammered. Not being much of a drinker, Beca had stayed with one beer to be sociable but had soon opted to watch the drunken silliness from a half-hidden vantage point on the edge of the pool. Leaning against one of the pillars, she had witnessed Amy grabbing Bumper's butt as the grand finale of her dance performance and Stacie (with a weirdly forlorn look on her face) accepting a drink from Donald's hands. Beca had grinned at the thought of what Aubrey would have had to say about all these Bella-Treble fraternizations. She had bobbed her head along to the songs, every once in a while humming another tune to try if they would fit together. _

_A soft "Hey girl!" followed by a tender hand on the small of Beca's back announced Chloe's arrival. The redhead had wobbled a bit and her eyes had wandered very freely so that Beca had immediately seen her friend was quite tipsy. "Hey." Beca had responded and put her arm around Chloe's shoulder. Really, she had just been careful; with Chloe this tipsy and this close to the edge of the swimming pool..._

_Chloe had started rambling: "That was so amazing, Bec! Really. I've never felt this connected as a team with the Bellas. Ever. I mean, we were just... wow! And totally unfair of them – you should have won that mic. Like, not you as one of the Bellas. Just you." At this point, Beca had raised an eyebrow, but Chloe had not noticed. "I mean, you really slayed that song!" Chloe had turned in Beca's half-embrace so they had been facing one another. "You are just so talented. Who else would have thought of that song? But it was genius, Bec. Genius! You're a genius, Beca." Chloe had finished and taken a much needed breath. Beca had let a smirk spread across her face – the redhead surely had had a couple too many but it was still adorable – and then Beca had wanted to say something. Something like "Uh huh, Red..." or "Exactly how many strawberry daiquiris have you had, Sparkly?" Chloe had had other plans. Or not. But she hadn't let Beca speak. _

_Before Beca had realized what was happening, soft lips had found their way onto hers. The brunette had not been able to stop her eyelids from drooping, from the quiet joy. Yet, she had managed to pull back and utter a surprised "Chloe, what...?"_

_Chloe had only leaned in again. Beca's own hands had been wrung in reddest curls and Chloe's hands had cupped Beca's cheeks. A lazy soundtrack of cellos and a warm electric guitar had sounded through Beca's mind as their lips had fought the most peaceful fight for dominance. All had been a swirl of color and dreams. It had been like a double-hug from Chloe. It had been lovely. _

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Present day – Beca's POV

Remembering it now, Beca thought she had been very awake through it all. Probably because she had been so, so sober. It had been the spring rain on freshly mowed grass – it hadn't been fireworks of emotion or lust. But it had been a wonderful and refreshing kiss. It had been – quite simply – lovely.

So how could remembering something this trivial – and lovely – be so shocking and sobering now?!


	6. Chapter 5

[A/N: Wow, this delay has been even more impressive than the earlier ones. I really have to learn to take some time for myself, to not get worked up about work, to give my fingers a rest from the guitar strings, and write more. Well, here we are – things are finally starting to happen. Very, verrrryyy slowly.

Here are the songs I used in this chapter:  
INXS "Devil Inside": [youtube] watch?v=Nc5QCJB3fOc  
Bright Eyes "First Day of My Life": [youtube] watch?v=zwFS69nA-1w  
(This really is what this whole story is about. I'm deeply in love with this song – and if you don't know it you have missed one of mankind's greatest pleasures!)

You can find my blog on Tumblr also as jcback.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Five

_Eleven years ago – Chloe's POV_

_Chloe had been thoroughly enjoying the spontaneous party after the riff off. It had not been easy to get away from Aubrey after the team captain had pulled the Bellas from the empty swimming pool. But explaining that making sure none of the other Bellas would spend too much time with the Trebles was an important task, Chloe had received Aubrey's approval and had followed her friends. _

_Said friends had gathered around her in one huge group hug, except for Beca who had stayed towards the back of the huddle. When the Bellas had moved apart, Chloe had walked forward and grabbed the brunette by the hands, echoing aca initiation night with the gesture. "Well done, Bec. That was awesome!" she had beamed. Pride had swelled her chest, pride for her friends and especially for Beca. The brunette had responded with her trademark smirk which had continued to swirl around Chloe's mind for the next 20 minutes. _

_Shortly after, Chloe had gladly accepted a plastic cup of beer from Stacie who had looked off into the distance behind the redhead. "Is Aubrey coming?" the tall brunette had asked too hopefully, and Chloe had responded with a sad shake of her head. "She's in a pretty bad mood. She really hates losing, especially to the Trebles." _

_Thankfully, Stacie had not stayed in her somber mood for long but had let Chloe pull her towards the makeshift dance floor where the two girls had started a spontaneous dance routine to "Devil Inside" which involved a lot of head banging and butt shaking. They had egged each other on and with every song and every beer gotten more and more ludicrous. So that by Chloe's third beer, Stacie had been grinding into Donald with Chloe dancing around them. By Chloe's fourth beer and with Stacie and Donald nowhere to be seen, the redhead had spun around herself in a corner of the pool spilling some of her drink from the cup in her left hand. _

_Chloe had been very much content. In contrary to her usual ambition, she hadn't minded their earlier defeat as much; actually she had still been on kind of a high from the exhilaration of having felt so close to her teammates in their spontaneous performance. What Beca had conjured up had been one amazing piece of a cappella. _

_To be precise, this night had been pretty perfect – as perfect as it could be really. The people had been awesome and in good spirits, the music cheerful and danceable and the beer cold and tasty. And Chloe had really needed to share her emotions. And who better to share them with than..._

_Chloe had looked around searching. Tiny, little, petite Beca Mitchell sure wouldn't have been easy to locate between the masses but the redhead somehow caught sight of her as the brunette had let her eyes sweep across the dance floor from the edge of the pool. Chloe's first urge had been to enthusiastically jump and wave and call her friend's name. But in the end, she had opted to just look at the smaller girl. Beca had a very distinct posture: it was something like a slouch with a lot of swagger and a little neglected elegance. Chloe had giggled at her own thoughts – she really was kind of tipsy. Either way, she wanted to let Beca know how much she had liked her song choice and what they had done with it, so she started out for the shallow end of the pool. _

_Five minutes later, she had been staring into Beca's ocean-deep eyes. Her gaze had drifted over Beca's dark curls, across her collarbone framed so effortlessly by her leather jacket. The small girl had always been a looker but especially in that moment she had taken Chloe's breath away. The brunette had had one arm around her waist and had been looking up at her with an amused grin. Chloe had been sure her friend was going to say something but somehow that hadn't been the appropriate path for this conversation. Chloe's night had been almost perfect and in that moment, she had known. And she had taken it. What was missing. Beca. _

_From the instant their lips had met, Chloe had known her decision was right. She had lost contact with the ground below her feet, she had floated a foot above the tiles and tumbled down when Beca pulled away: "Chloe, what...?" The relentless ticking of time had begun again, a thousand daggers piercing her with every move. 'No, this couldn't, this couldn't be! No more daggers.' Chloe had thought and ended her agony. She had been back in Beca's arms, her hands cupping this so familiar face, feeling slender hands wringing in her hair. _

_Chloe had felt herself dragged away from the swimming pool and off campus. Carried by fairies' wings that had held her and Beca by the waists, and then dropped off a decade-long second later by a lake in moonshine surrounded by willow trees. The full moon had been shining brightly, bathing the two girls in calming, cool hues of white and blue. It had been like a symphony of colors when greenish northern lights and reddest fireworks had joined the moon, and yellow golden flames had sprung up in bonfires all around them. _

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Chloe's eyes snapped up from her desk where she was preparing the next week's lessons for her kindergarteners. The memory from her senior year had sneaked up on her. Her breathing was ragged and she had started nervously clicking her fingers. It was with an effort and a quick rub to the eyes that Chloe caught herself again.

Those years at Barden surely had been defining for her. In senior year, she had made the best friends one could ever ask for. Safe for Aubrey, of course – she had been there the whole time. Sometimes, Chloe was a little surprised how the Bellas were still so close, after all these years. But then again, it made sense. She herself had felt so much at home with this group and that sentiment was shared by pretty much everyone. Everyone still clung to each other, supporting the other ladies in whatever they were doing.

Beca had never been great at showing her feelings but Chloe had known the brunette well enough to read her anyway. She would never have admitted it but Beca had loved the Bellas, their ragtag little band of weirdos. And she had loved Chloe most of all, had let her closest, the redhead knew that. If only she wasn't so closed off! 'We could still be friends, still this close!' Chloe thought. Of course, there would have been difficult times, and Chloe certainly would have done something about this weird decision about music Beca seemed to have made in her sophomore year. There had to be a way back there. It couldn't all just be gone! Chloe gave a determined nod of the head.

She looked down at her paper and saw that the only thing she had prepared for her kindergarteners was one word she seemed to have doodled during her meanderings: friends.

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Present day – Beca's POV

Beca had taken Saturday off her duties. She had mostly stayed in bed with her marketing journals; somehow reading them in bed made it feel like she was actually enjoying a hobby, not working on improving her knowledge. Which felt good. After her sobering cab ride home from Trish's place and a short nap, Beca didn't feel much of a hangover – nothing a triple espresso couldn't cure. She got a wrap and a large cup of Greek roast for lunch from her neighborhood deli and glared at her cell phone which rudely interrupted her meal with a shrill ring.

It was Amy who with a hoarse and surprisingly quiet voice inquired after Beca's condition. "Hey Amy", Beca greeted her friend gruffly. Amy sighed: "Come on, Squish Ball! Give me the deets! What happened there?" Beca rolled her eyes and answered: "How do you mean what happened? You saw what happened. Trish is hot. We were feeling like it. So, we left. No big deal, is it?" The Australian loudly cleared her throat. "No, I guess it isn't. Still, I was kinda surprised. Seemed abrupt..." Amy trailed off. "I'm a grown up, Amy. Why not enjoy the company of a beautiful woman?" Beca could almost see Amy's shoulders drooping in defeat. "Never said anything against it. Either way: good for you, Bec!"

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Amy continued: "So, when's your mom coming in?" Beca took another breath to calm her indignation at Amy before she answered: "Tomorrow. I'll pick her up at La Guardia at 2." Amy's "that's good" was followed by another awkward silence which Beca finally broke after a minute: "Do you maybe want to have dinner with us some time this week? I'm sure Mom would love to see you."

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Beca tried her best to make herself presentable the next day. She was determined to show her mother that she was in control of her life and that the older woman didn't have to worry about her daughter. Being presentable however was difficult to achieve that day. Beca had woken up several times during the night but fallen asleep again shortly after. Still, in the morning she needed a cold shower to wake her spirits. With her still wet hair messily done up and in track pants and an old tank top, Beca shuffled out to her deli to stock up on a few essentials and get her coffee. Then she proceeded to clean her apartment and put her things in order.

Clad in her standard jeans, tank top and boots ensemble, Beca stepped off the bus a few hours later and weaved her way through the masses pouring out of the main entrance of the terminal. She stopped at a Starbucks inside and picked up an iced dark roast for herself and a two shot latte for her mom. Yawning, she positioned herself at the exit and took a sip.

After ten minutes, Beca heard a squeal. Her mother was waving excitedly from in between two business men. Beca saw a vintage brown leather bag hanging from her mother's arm. She suppressed another yawn as the older woman stepped through the gate. "So you like my present, huh?"Beca grinned at her mother pointing at the weekender. "You bet!" Mary Mitchell answered.

She was an energetic, short woman (even shorter than her daughter) with a shock of curly brown hair and bright green eyes. "Hey mom." Beca greeted her. "Hey baby. So good to see you!" Mary said as she gave her daughter a big hug. "And it's good to have you here." As they parted, Beca held out the paper cup. "Oh baby, thanks. You're taking good care of me already. How are you?" Mary asked and looked critically at her daughter. Beca felt the scrutiny placed on her so she cleared her throat and had another gulp of coffee. "I've been good. Come on, let's get home."

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After Mary had settled in, the two women decided to make the best of the summer day and boarded the train into Manhattan where they opted for a walk around Washington Square Park and the village. Beca could feel her mom side-eyeing her regularly, and she felt somewhat uneasy.

Finally, the two women stopped at a café and sat down at one of the small tables in the sun. Mary pushed her hair out of her face and repositioned her sunglasses before turning to her daughter and asking: "So, tell me about that Bellas meeting! I heard Chloe Beale is getting married. That's wonderful!" Beca almost snorted into her beverage but was able to pass it off as a badly timed sneeze to which her mom replied with a good-humored "bless you!".

Beca rolled her shoulders and nodded awkwardly. "Yeah, she is. Meeting was good. Same as always, really... But I don't know..." Mary looked at her daughter with her head inquisitively leaned to one side. "What's up, baby?" she asked. Beca shrugged: "I don't know. It just felt weird being there, you know. Not sure I'll still go next year. I think I'm done with it." With a shocked expression, Mary was about to retort when Beca's phone rang shrilly.

Thinking it would be her boss dissatisfied with her latest presentation, Beca didn't bother checking the screen and got up from the table with a shrug and an apologetic glance toward her mother. Mary gave her daughter a grin and a thumbs up as the younger woman with scrunchy grimace accepted the call a few paces away from the café: "Hello?" "Heya chica!" came the prompt reply. "Huh, what?" was Beca's first reaction to the excited giggle on the other end of the line but she caught herself quickly: "Hey Chloe. To what do I owe the honor?" The golden snicker that bubbled through the phone gave Beca the impression that her stomach was being held hostage by a huge fist made of cotton wool.

"Don't be silly, Bec! I just wanted to talk to you. I was so happy to see you at the meeting. It was great that you stayed the entire time this year!" Beca could imagine how Chloe's pale blue eyes would light up in excitement. She swallowed hard, gave a nod and replied: "Yeah... it was good to see you too." The brunette blushed – she wasn't being completely honest here and she was sure Chloe could read her. However, the redhead didn't seem to mind. She continued on about their time together: "I don't why but this year felt different." ('Oh really? I wonder why that would be... Could be because I'm finally over this...!' Beca thought sarcastically.)

"We did have a good time at college, didn't we?" Chloe asked with an audible smile. "I guess we did. Chloe, I..." Beca started but she didn't get far. "I miss those years, Beca. I miss you..." Chloe breathed out.

Beca was startled. What just happened? Her mouth fell open in surprise. She saw her mom raise a questioning eyebrow in her direction but Beca waved it off. "Yeah..." she mumbled. There was a moment's silence. She heard Chloe clear her throat: "Alright, I have to go. Talk soon, OK?" With a crooked smile, Beca said her goodbyes: "Sure thing, Chlo. You take care." "You too." came the good-humored response.

Beca stared at her phone after she had ended the call and shook her head. "I miss you, too..." she whispered.

The brunette returned to the table and took a sip of her coffee. "Who was it?" Mary asked. Beca was still incredulously looking at her phone with her brow furrowed. "Chloe." Mary's eyes widened in surprise. "Chloe Beale, you mean?" Beca nodded: "Yup, Chloe Beale." The brunette could feel her mother's gaze on her and looked up. "What is it?" Mary smiled: "Nothing. You wanna head out?"

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Shortly after, the two women were continuing their walk in the sun. Even though she didn't know why, Beca still felt a little bit giddy from her short conversation with the redhead and moved through the cobblestone streets with an uncharacteristic spring to her step. She hardly felt the time passing as they walked and walked.

She was enjoying this time with her mother. They had always gotten along splendidly, and with the exception of the not unexpected quarrels during Beca's teenage years had always kept a quiet, loving relationship. Beca especially appreciated her mother's decision to not take up her maiden name again after her divorce from Beca's father. The older woman had always said that that would feel like also divorcing her child which she would never do.

Beca offered her arm and Mary silently took it as they neared Battery Park. The women stopped as they came upon the railing facing the mouth of the Hudson River. The early evening sun was glistening on the water and ships were slowly coming and going in the bay. Mary let her gaze sweep across the water; Beca next to her looked out to the ocean and sighed. Quietly, she started humming a familiar song.

With a smile, Mary turned to her daughter and said: "I know this! We used to sing it together, do you remember, love?" Beca's head snapped up in surprise: "We did?" A sad smile flitted across Mary's face: "Yeah, when I still lived at home. That's when Walden found that song. Bright Eyes. It came on the radio one night as he drove home from work. He showed it to us the next weekend, and the three of us sang it together..." Beca swallowed hard. "It's funny you should sing it now. I haven't thought of that song in ages." Beca shrugged: "Me neither. I remember that I wanted to have it be a part of one of our performances back in the day. Somehow, it never fit in..."

"_Don't know where I am, don't know where I've been, but I know where I want to go. _It is a great song..." Mary trailed off.

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Sunday night, Chloe called Aubrey. They usually tried meeting up once a weekend but it tended to not work out because Aubrey would devote even some of her time off to her job at the law firm. This had also happened this weekend and Aubrey spent the first ten minutes of the call explaining the intricacies of the upcoming case to her best friend who after a while got lost in the legal lingo and simply opted to tell Aubrey off for working on a Sunday.

Aubrey indignantly asked: "Well, and what have you been doing? Probably you were working too!" Chloe grinned: "Yup, I did. I admit I spent about an hour yesterday morning drafting my classes for next week. But that was it, one hour! After that, Jules and I went to try different cakes for the wedding. And we discussed the color theme..." Aubrey giggled: "Color theme, huh? How is that going?" Chloe drooped her shoulders. The topic had been somewhat of an issue for the two brides and they could not seem to agree. Jules desperately wanted to arrange everything in pink and white whereas Chloe wanted a less girly and more spring-like approach of differing hues of green and yellow. "Oh you know, same as always. Maybe we should just throw a coin. It's so weird, usually we have the same taste. But this we can't seem to be able to settle..." Aubrey snorted: "Come on, Beale! You'll be able to handle one small crisis. You do know that the two of you aren't normal, right? Everybody has different opinions!" With a small voice, Chloe replied: "I guess you're right. Well, we'll figure something out!"

"Oh, you know what?! I spoke to Beca today!" the redhead squealed excitedly. "What? Why?" Aubrey asked gruffly. "I just wanted to talk to her. So I called her. I've kind of realized lately that I miss her a lot. I think it started with the Bellas meeting. It's weird to not have her in my life as much anymore. And I want to change that." Chloe rambled. "That's weird." Aubrey offered and Chloe could tell her best friend's mood had just cooled down a few degrees; as always when conversation turned to Beca. "I didn't think she wanted anything to do with the Bellas anymore, really. I'm surprised she still comes to the meetings..."

Chloe was taken aback by Aubrey's disapproving reaction. She knew the two women had had issues in the past and their relationship certainly had never been an easy one but that Aubrey would respond this vigorously surprised the redhead. "Aubrey, that's not fair! She actually stayed longer this year. She didn't seem uncomfortable there, and she said she'd come to the wedding. She can't hate everything about the Bellas." Aubrey gave a short, sad laugh. "No, certainly not..." Chloe rolled her eyes. She was very patient, and she knew Aubrey inside out but sometimes her best friend was the opposite of easy to handle.

"What's up, Bree?" Aubrey exhaled audibly. "You know, Chloe... Beca is not good for you. She will start manipulating you again. I think she has made it quite clear what she thinks of us and the Bellas years ago. And I don't think you should still be running after her." Chloe's eyebrows angrily met in the middle of her forehead. "Aubrey! You know she never did manipula..." Aubrey cut her off: "She did influence you greatly, however. And if you do that knowing what would consequently happen – as she did – that is how you define 'manipulate'! Also, what would Jules think?"

Chloe was speechless. She did not expect this kind of adversary retort. Or such false accusations. Indignantly, she went to defend herself: "Why should Jules think anything of it? Beca and I are just friends. It's what we've always been. So what does that have to do with Jules?"


	7. Chapter 6

[A/N: After having to take a break from this story for a few months, I finally found some time to work on it again. It still seems a little shaky getting back into it but I think we're on the right track. Beca, again, is not the fastest of thinkers but I believe she will get there in the end :-)

Here is the song I used in this chapter:  
KT Tunstall "Suddenly I see": [youtube] watch?v=6or36evZ21A (This is a pretty cool live version of this song.)

You can find my blog on Tumblr also as jcback.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Six

"_Yours is the first face that I saw. Think I was blind before I met you."_

Present day – Beca's POV

After their day in the city, Beca and Mary returned to Beca's apartment and ordered in. They had their usual combination of Chinese and red wine which everyone else would have deemed disgusting but it was a longstanding tradition. Also, Chop Suey and Chardonnay not only worked phonetically.

Mary surveyed her daughter as she set the small table with wine glasses and candles. Beca still had her usual shuffle but somehow it seemed that she trod more lightly tonight. As if some of the weight had been taken off her shoulders. Mary knew full well how hurt her daughter was and how much she had closed herself off from others in the last few years. It pained her to see this development, yet Mary felt it would not be fair to push too hard – however, she never hesitated to shove at Beca a little bit.

"So, baby", Mary started. Beca snapped her head up in surprise clearly having been lost in thought. "Uh-huh?", came the not very eloquent response. Mary smiled at her daughter. "What did Chloe Beale want? Did she have a reason for calling?" Beca seemed to blush slightly; but it might have just been a flicker to the candles' flames. "I don't know... She was talking about old times a lot." "Old times. You say that like you're a 65-year old spinster, baby!" Mary shook her head. Beca gave her mother a glare. "That year just seems so far away, Mom." Beca heaved a heavy sigh and Mary waited for her to elaborate. "I know Barden was where Chloe had the time of her life. And I guess _I_ enjoyed my freshmen year. But I can't even remember it anymore. It's like that was in another life, or another version of me who was there..." Beca trailed off.

Mary could feel tears swelling up in her eyes, tears for her daughter who was so chased by her past yet could not connect to it at all. She had been there to see how Beca had changed, from a young, passionate, though somewhat cynical woman to this seemingly old soul with a burden so heavy she dragged her feet with every step she tried to make. Mary was about to say something – though she didn't know what – when the doorbell rang to announce the arrival of the delivery boy of Mr. Meng's Jade Dragon.

Beca paid the young man, thanked him and then balanced the plastic bag in one hand while she shut the door with the other. She disappeared into the kitchen for a couple of minutes and emerged with both their meals steaming in large bowls and with chop sticks to go along. She smiled towards her mother and beckoned her towards the table where she slumped down in a chair after setting the bowls next to the wine glasses.

It was with one quick look that Mary assessed that Beca had recovered and shaken her sadness off as she usually did. She didn't want to pester her daughter so Mary resolved to watching her closely for the rest of the night. Unsurprisingly, the conversation soon turned to Beca's job as it always did and Mary obliged in listening to Beca's complaints and comparisons.

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The next night, Beca and Mary met up with Amy for dinner. Mary and Amy had always gotten along well. Mary had immediately seen how Amy's carefree attitude could benefit her daughter's gloomy outlooks, and with her free spirit and love for music, Mary had seemed to be the coolest Mom to Amy.

Right after entering the small Italian restaurant, Beca excused herself to the bathroom which gave Mary the opportunity for some conspiratorial whispering in Amy's direction. "You know what? Beca got a call from Chloe yesterday!" Amy twitched her head in surprise. "Really? That's interesting. Was it about the wedding?" Mary shrugged: "Not sure. But I don't think so. Beca didn't really want to talk about it." Amy sighed. "Figures. That munchkin isn't really one for sharing her emotions these days. Not that she's ever been. But lately..." she trailed off.

A waiter handed them menus before they could continue their conversation. "Amy, how is she? She won't tell me anything." "That's the question though, innit?" the Australian replied. "Well, she has been somewhat on the edge. Little Squish Ball isn't all that squishy anymore..." Mary pursed her lips before responding: "Hm. She was talking about never going to Bellas meetings again." Despite Amy's shocked expression, Mary continued: "But after she talked to Chloe, she did something weird. She hummed. A song, an actual song!" "No...!" was Amy's only reaction. "Uh-huh." Mary nodded to support her statement. "I haven't heard her hum in like..."

Before Amy could finish counting the years since her last encounter with a musically engaged Beca Mitchell, said Beca Mitchell reappeared at the table with an irritated expression. "I guess it's my kind of luck to need the bathroom when every woman on this planet also does..." Amy swallowed hard and sent a halfhearted grin towards her friend before sharing a look with Mary and then fumbling with the menu.

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The three ladies had just ordered when Beca's phone rang. Beca with a confused frown looked at the name on the screen before a sobering realization showed on her face. "Sorry, guys. I should take this." She grimaced at her companions. "Sure thing," Mary smiled. Beca thumbed across the screen and lifted the phone to her ear. "Hey Trish." Amy's mouth fell open and Mary questioningly looked at the Australian. "Thanks..." continued the conversation. "I can't, I'm sorry... no no, I really did... I'm sorry... Okay... Thanks... Sorry, Trish... Okay. Bye!"

After a few moments of awkward silence, it was Amy who spoke first. "Was that...?" Beca cast her eyes towards her knees: "Hot Trish, yes..." Mary's eyes widened and slowly she asked: "Hot... Trish? Anything I should know about her?" A wide grin appeared on her face. Maybe she had been wrong about that phone call after all...

"Um... no." Beca answered. "Nothing to know then. Righty!" Amy exclaimed and leaned back in her chair to let the waiter place a giant plate of pasta in front of her.

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Chloe stepped out of the shower and threw a light green towel around her torso. She leaned against the sink and brushed her teeth. Through the half-open door she saw Jules getting comfortable in bed holding an iPad and reading her emails.

"Hey baby!" the other woman called out. "What?" Chloe responded through a mouthful of toothpaste drooling some of it over her chin. Jules giggled at her fiancée's clumsiness and held the tablet up. "I totally forgot: the ICCA finals are coming up! I was thinking, maybe we could go this year, you and me." Chloe stood up from the sink and wiped her mouth with a corner of the towel covering her body. "That would be awesome!" she beamed at Jules. "When would that be?" Jules tapped at the screen: "Well, let's see." She checked her calendar app. "It would be the weekend in two weeks."

Chloe's smile grew wide and she started a chant of "We'll go to New York, we'll go to New Yooooork!" before dropping her towel and dancing towards the bed.

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The next morning, Chloe was still bubbly from her plans to visit the ICCA finals. She asked one of her co-workers at the kindergarten to cover for her for a few minutes and retreated into the staff kitchen where she put the kettle on to make herself a cup of tea. With the cup in hand, she tapped her thumb on her phone's screen. It should be around 1 pm there now...

The phone rang a few times and Chloe almost put it down again when an out-of-breath voice answered, "Hello?" "Hi stranger!" Chloe chimed. "Hey Chlo! How are you? Sorry, I just got out of work." Chloe's eyes widened: "What? Already? Wow, I'm jealous!" "Not really," Beca answered. "But I'll have lunch with my Mom, and then quickly finish one thing before the weekend. I took half the day off." "You are so weird, Bec. That is not taking half the day off, if you come in again after lunch!"

Beca was silent for a minute, and Chloe wondered whether she had angered the brunette. "Sorry. I didn't... How is your Mom?" Beca cleared her throat before replying: "She is good, thanks. It's really nice to have her here."

Chloe could here the familiar hustle and bustle of Manhattan streets as Beca apparently stepped outside her office building. The siren of a passing police car sounded so different in the small space between the tall structures. The rumble of a subway rolling through a tunnel that seemed right underneath Beca's feet combined with the almost melodic cries of a man selling sunglasses to tourists. A steam vent erupted close to the phone's microphone. Chloe could hear all these sounds and had to resist bobbing her head to the innate rhythm of the city. She wondered how Beca perceived all of this, or if she did at all...

Neither of the women had said anything in about a minute but the silence curiously didn't feel awkward at all.

Chloe felt a smile emerging on her face – that was the place. She had almost forgotten about it, forgotten how familiar it was. Like her family's attic where she would spend summer days going through old cardboard boxes finding her mother's prom pictures and her father's vinyl record collection. Or like her brother's treehouse that she sneaked into after he had left for college. Or like that old rehearsal space at Barden where she knew the acoustics of every corner. That space Beca and Chloe had created together eleven years ago. Where they would find each other when none of them was talking, when there was only music on, or in complete silence.

And now, unexpectedly, she had returned to that place. It was like walking down a corridor in her house or at her workplace which she walked down every day. But then there was this door that hadn't been there before. And when curiosity won out and Chloe opened that door she was back in that attic, that treehouse, that rehearsal space. She was looking around and everything still looked the same, except it was a lot bigger than she recalled. She took in the familiar smell of the place which she immediately remembered – only she had forgotten just how good it smelled. Chloe heaved a sigh.

"Hey Bec," she started. Beca's quiet smile was audible on her soft "Yeah?" Chloe was almost nervous as she constructed her next sentence: "I'll be in town soon. Jules and I are going to see the ICCA finals." After a moment, Beca answered: "Wow." "Yeah, I know. Do you maybe want to hang out?" "When will that be?" "We'll be in there in a couple of weeks." "Sure, we'll get dinner?" At that moment, Chloe's co-worker stuck her head through the door giving Chloe a crooked smile. Chloe gave her a quick nod before returning her attention to the phone call.

"Sounds good. Hey Bec, I gotta go, I'm sorry. Let's talk soon, yeah?" "No worries. Yeah, I'll call you..." Chloe beamed and replied: "Righty, Bec! Bye!" "Bye, Chlo!"

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Present day – Beca's POV

Beca shook her head as she walked up Sixth Avenue towards her office building an hour later. This was the second time this week that Chloe Beale had called her. She had smiled through most of the conversation. And lunch with her mother. She was actually_ still_ smiling – which she promptly changed.

It had been weird the first time Chloe had called. But even weirder this time. Somehow, the first time Beca had felt still somewhat in control. But today, that was pure chaos. During the first phone call, Beca had managed to stay distant, to be aware of what was happening, to not let go. But today, Chloe had drawn her in.

It had started with that awkward joke Chloe had made about Beca's work habits; it had just hit too close to home. At least for someone who had not been part of Beca's life for over a decade. Had it been her mother or Amy, she could and would have replied with a snarky retort. But Chloe? She hadn't known how to react. How could Chloe be this intimate and so accurately describe what Beca was doing?! Thank God the redhead had been polite enough to quickly change the subject.

What was even weirder, however, was the two minutes after that. Beca had been standing on a busy street corner waiting for the red light to turn. A construction worker had started a jack-hammer just across the street. A police car had passed with blaring sirens. A young woman next to her had been in a loud fight with his girlfriend over the phone. One guy had been screaming about $1 sunglasses. She had been encased between a throng of people on their way to their lunch break or weekend.

Yet, it had been quiet. She had listened to Chloe's breathing on the other end of the line and to her own breathing; it had not taken long for the two synch up and slow down. As her heart had beat to her throat, Beca had savored the moment of serenity.

"That _was_ strange!" she said to herself. She shook her head and entered her trusty Sixth Avenue Starbucks to get a dessert coffee, a tall, triple shot latte. That should get her through the two hours before the weekend!

Deep in thought, she entered the building after letting a Jewish man with a kippot hurry out the door clearly leaving work for Shabbat. Beca looked after him as she stepped towards the elevator.

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_Eleven years ago – Beca's POV_

_Beca had been moving away from the Barden DJs' booth after having talked to the strange Australian girl. 'Yeah, why would Barden have a DJing club?! After all, it was the lamest place on earth!' Sighing, she had stepped back onto the path between the booths looking around. There seemed to be a bunch of kids running around while holding broomsticks. 'Nerds!' she had thought. That was one activity she certainly would not participate in, whatever her father said. _

"_Hi! Any interest in joining our a capella group?" Beca had felt a flyer thrust in her hand and had looked up to find a beautiful redhead watching her intensely with piercing baby blue eyes. Her gaze trailing down to the hand in front of her, Beca had read 'Barden Bellas – competitive a capella group'. So this was one of those traditional groups! "Oh right! This is, like, a thing now...!" Beca had smirked. "Oh, totes!" the redhead had beamed. "We sing covers of songs but we do it without any instruments. It's all from our mouths!" At this moment, Beca had worked very hard to stop herself from giggling – not that giggling was usually in her repertoire of reactions – but this girl... She had gone for a sarcastic "Yikes" instead. _

_The redhead had gone on to describe the structure of the Barden a capella society, and the indignant blonde next to her had defended the activity as if her family honor depended on it. (Reflecting on it later, Beca learned it probably sort of did.)_

_All the while, Beca had kept smirking at the captivating redhead who had spoken of this super lame activity so eloquently and passionately. Even though, a capella was only slightly less nerdy than Quidditch club she could see some good in venturing down that musical path. If only to find out exactly _what_ was so enticing about this girl. _

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Present day – Beca's POV

As Beca came out of her memory, she realized she was bobbing her head and humming along to a familiar song that played on the radio blaring from Gloria from Sales' cubicle. Incredulously, Beca shook herself to a stop. She knew that song, intimately:  
She fills up every corner like she's born in black and white  
Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember  
What you heard  
She likes to leave you hanging on her word

The memory of how she had run back to her dorm room after that meeting at the activities fair came back to Beca. How she had thrown her keys on her desk and ripped the headphones off their hook on the bookshelves. How she had disappeared into her music to come up with a mix around the centerpiece of exactly that song, 'Suddenly I see'.

And as if the song was speaking for her now, Beca's eyes widened as she stared onto her computer screen. It was Chloe. All of it was Chloe. It had always been. That moment they had shared earlier. That was what it was all about. She couldn't go back there. Or she wouldn't be able to go on without it anymore. And that was no option. The wedding...


	8. Chapter 7

[A/N: I'm taking some time off of work and trying to plan some big things for next year. But before I get started on my emigration plans, I gave myself some time to relax and come back to myself. Apparently, I want to use this time to continue with this little story. And I enjoy it thoroughly!  
Slowly, some people seem to understand what is happening. Except for Chloe. Weirdly, Beca seems to have taken some time to self-reflect. Who knew that was in her?!

You can find my blog on Tumblr also as jcback.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.]

„**Besides, maybe this time..."**

Chapter Seven

Present day – Beca's POV

Beca was in a trance as she finished her last tasks before the weekend. As if on auto-pilot, she went through the sales sheets she had prepared, correcting typos and then printing the documents out for her boss to bring to a conference the following week. She neatly stapled the paper and arranged it in folders which she then placed on the sideboard in her boss's office. Not one thought was going through her mind as she wrote up a couple of press releases which she (surprisingly wisely, as she later thought) printed out and left on her keyboard for a final checkup the next Monday.

After an hour and a half in the office, Beca gathered her things and boarded the train to Queens shuffling through her deli to get some ice cream and chocolate. It certainly didn't seem like the most grown-up thing to do but sometimes a good old sweets binge could cure anything.

Beca knew her mother to be visiting a museum in Manhattan so she had her apartment to herself when she returned there and dropped her bags in the kitchen first thing. She managed to throw the ice cream in the freezer before letting herself slump on the couch with a chocolate bar in hand and staring unseeingly at the wall.

Chloe Beale. Her laughter. The so familiar sound of her breathing which had acquired just the smallest bit of raspiness after her nodes surgery during Beca's freshmen year. The way she would end her sentences with the melody of her voice going slightly up so that everything she said could have passed as a question. Had that been it? Had she been it?

Beca heaved a sigh and let herself fall against the back of the couch. She took a bite of chocolate. She knew. Something about Chloe had been hidden inside her chest for all these years. Something that had once inspired her to so much, that had helped her musicality flourish and blossom. Beca couldn't put a finger on what exactly it had been but she was realizing now that Chloe had been something to her that no one had been before. She had been touched so deeply by Chloe's musical soul that she hadn't been able to go on as before.

It was now, in this moment that Beca saw how much had happened. She saw how much Chloe's departure ten years ago had meant to her, how much it had changed her. Beca had tried to go on with her life after Chloe and Aubrey had graduated. She had seriously tried to be that person, that captain of the Bellas who would lead her troupe to another victory after going into the competition as defending champions. That was who she should have been, and who everybody thought she was going to be. Everybody thought she had changed enough in her first year at Barden to become that person.

But as much as she had changed – and boy, had she changed! – she was thrown back to being that same closed-off, scared, snarky, cynical young woman as who she had moved in at Barden. Worse than that, she had been confirmed in what she believed, that nothing good ever came of anything, anyone she held dear. Her mother should have been her shining model of loyalty but yet she had chosen to look at how her dad, Walden Mitchell, had left her for a new life. And that's what Chloe had done in her eyes. She had left for another, better life that was somewhere where she wasn't.

Little, 20-year old Beca had been hurt beyond repair. Her music, the one thing that had held her through a troubled and sometimes tearful youth, had left her on the same minivan that Chloe had hauled her whole life into and that had taken her away towards the City of Angels where she would start her own new, better life. After trying to hold on for a few weeks, with Jesse still by her side and the Bellas to mentor and occupy her time, Beca had broken down at that year's Riff-Off. She had sent Jesse off in the most horrible way possible, without anything akin to an explanation or any way to help her.

That Beca had just stopped existing. She had packed everything that made her who she was into boxes and hauled them off to her father's house. But not only had she stopped mixing that day, she had completely shunned music. She had not one record in her house. She had no radio. She had managed to shut herself off enough to not even hear the music when she went shopping. She actually got really annoyed when someone in her vicinity put music on. The only time in the year when she was exposed to music of any kind was during the annual Bellas meeting. Even there, she had managed to escape somewhat.

But not this year. Absentmindedly, Beca licked the residues of chocolate off her fingers and thought back to the previous meeting of the a capella group. She had managed to get out of the pool mashup, but that karaoke night... Beca drooped her shoulders as she thought of the moment when Chloe had begun her version of 'Music and Me'. Tears swelled up in Beca's eyes. She finally recognized why she had felt so weird in that moment. This so beloved song from her early childhood memories sung by the woman who understood her musically like no one else had reminded her not only of a time long past but also of a person she had seemingly lost a decade ago. Herself.

That was the realization that ripped Beca into pieces. She curled into a ball on the couch. She grabbed one of her mother's sweaters which was hanging over the armrest, drew it to her face and broke out in tears. She sobbed for all the Bellas. She sobbed for Cynthia-Rose, for Stacie, even for Aubrey. She sobbed for Chloe. But most of all, she sobbed for that young Beca.

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When Beca woke up from her phone buzzing on the floor next to her, she didn't know where she was at first. She rubbed her eyes and rolled her shoulders before swiping her thumb across the screen. "Hello?" Her mother's voiced answered. "Hey baby. Where are you? Are you at home yet?" Beca sat up abruptly and shook herself awake. "Um... Yeah. At home now." Mary audibly smiled. "Good, baby. How do you wanna do it tonight then? Do you want to have dinner at home, or get something to eat in the city?" Beca thought for a second and then replied: "Mom, work was... um... really crazy. Can you maybe... um, like make us something here? I don't really feel like going out tonight. Would that be okay?" Mary hesitated before answering in the affirmative. She promised to come to the apartment soon and go grocery shopping before.

After finishing up the phone call, Beca leaned into the couch and let her head fall back. She felt weary and tired from all the crying and mourning. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself and then got up to walk to the dresser in her bedroom. She opened the top drawer, pulled out a flat shoe box and sat down on her bed with it in hand. Taking the lid off, she found a stack of photographs from her early time at college. There was that picture one of the SBT frat boys had taken of all the Bellas miserably trying to find their common ground in their first ever performance. A picture of the Bellas before Regionals, all in their little costumes. Stacie doing a show-offy ballet move in the rehearsal space. Cynthia-Rose and Amy in gangster poses. Chloe and Aubrey, both with rather doubtful expressions during rehearsal (that must have been rather at the beginning of the year). Amy holding a grimacing Beca in a headlock. Stacie and Cynthia-Rose at a slumber party where they had been dared to swap clothes – it was hard to tell who looked weirder and more uncomfortable: Stacie in baggy sweat pants and a wife beater, or Cynthia-Rose in a skimpy negligée. There was even a picture of Chloe and Beca on the quad: Beca lying down with her head on her messenger bag with her eyes closed, Chloe sitting cross-legged next to her and looking at Beca.

Beca pulled out one picture of herself. Young Beca was sitting on the benches in the rehearsal space while in the background Stacie and Denise were running after Aubrey in what Beca assumed was their cardio routine. The past Beca in the foreground was looking off to the right of the photographer laughing with who the present Beca knew to be a dancing Chloe. Stashing away the box again, Beca leaned the picture against the frame that held the photograph of her mother and her. "Hey there, little monkey." she whispered to her younger self and left the room.

It took Beca a good twenty minutes to clean up the mess of tissues and chocolate wrappers in the living room and take a cold shower before she felt fit to welcome her mother again. Grabbing the ice cream box and a spoon, she wandered back into her bedroom. She tilted her head and looked at this young and seemingly carefree version of herself. The young Beca's hair was as messy as it was today, her eyes were same swirl of ocean and night sky, she was already wearing a ridiculous amount of eyeliner, even her wardrobe was similar. Actually, she still had this top somewhere... The one thing that was different was the expression on her face. Young Beca seemed at peace with herself, in a good place where she enjoyed her life, her company, and could laugh in that open, stomachache-inducing way. Beca could not remember having laughed like that in a very long time.

Following a whim, she opened the dresser again and pulled out her old, faded Bellas scarf and placed it next to the picture of her younger self. She had another spoon of ice cream before nodding and leaving the bedroom. On the way to the kitchen, she turned around once more and gave her younger self a quiet smile.

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Despite her attempts to hide her somewhat blotchy eyes and darkened mood, Beca was sure that her mother could see right through her when she arrived at the apartment half an hour later laden with plastic bags and a huge canister of orange juice.

Mary gave a slightly too wide smile and bustled off to make dinner. After setting the small table in the living room, Beca squeezed into the tiny kitchen with her mother and tried helping which mostly resulted in Mary telling her off and swatting her hands away. Admitting defeat, Beca withdrew into the space in front of the kitchen door and listened to Mary's stories of what she had done after the lunch break they had spent together.

Somewhat startled by the amounts of food her mother was preparing, Beca questioningly raised an eyebrow at Mary and gave a snarky, soft-spoken "Wow..." Mary looked up from the pan she was stirring and her mouth fell open comically as she obviously remembered something. "Oh shoot, baby!" she exclaimed. "I totally forgot. I asked Amy whether she wanted to come over. I hope that's okay?! Oh no, I'm really sorry – I wanted to call but then the train arrived, and somehow..." Internally, Beca was not sure how she felt about this but on the outside, she gave her trademark lopsided grin, shrugged and went to set another plate on the table.

Shortly after, the doorbell rang – this thing really needed to be tuned! – and Beca went to let Amy in. The Australian greeted Beca with the usual loud "Heya, Squish Ball!" accompanied by a bear hug. "Hey Amy," Beca pressed out from the slightly overwhelming embrace. "Heya, Mrs. M!" Amy called over Beca's head into the kitchen to which Mary responded with a smile and a wave of a spatula.

During dinner, Mary repeated a few of her stories about her day in the city giving Beca time to check out and let her thoughts wander back to that conversation with Chloe. She hadn't told anyone about the phone call yet and felt her face immediately form a sad smile. Her mother tilted her head as she noticed the change in her daughter's expression. "What's up, baby?" Beca looked up and awkwardly cleared her throat. "Um... just thinking, I guess."

Beca saw Amy raising an eyebrow and sharing a quick look with Mary. Beca had hoped they would let the moment pass but of course, Amy could be counted upon: "Come on! Sharing is caring," beamed Amy and stuck her tongue out at her friend. Beca scrunched up her face and told them that Chloe had called during her lunch break (here, the other two looked at each other again), and that Chloe had announced her trip to New York in a couple of weeks.

"Woot! Beale is in the city!" Amy accentuated her statement with a bump to the fist, followed by a generous swig of her beer. "That's lovely," said Mary. "I'm sure it'd be nice to see her outside that meeting when you're all there, wouldn't it?" Beca shrugged and gave a non-committal "Hm, I don't know..." Amy shoved at her shoulder beaming: "Don't be silly, Squish Ball. It'll be awesome! What is she doing here?" With a frown, Beca explained that Chloe and Jules were coming to the city to attend the ICCA finals. Amy almost fell over herself in excitement at the thought: "That is amaze-balls! Squish, we should really go, we should!" Beca snorted into her orange juice and just answered with a sarcastic "Yeah, uh huh..."

Amy busied herself for a couple of minutes checking up on her calendar and had to realize – much to Beca's alleviation – that she would not even be in town for the weekend in question. Amy pursed her lips in disappointment and took another sip of beer. Then, she lit up again and looked at Beca. "Well, you will just have to go on your own then, I choose you as my second." she triumphantly grinned. Beca almost choked on the bite of chicken in her mouth.

"No no no! I'm not going to that stupid thing, no way!" Mary incredulously gazed at her daughter; across the table, Amy was also visibly taken aback by Beca's vehement stubbornness. "I have to work, and the Monday after that, I have a super important meeting." (That, Beca had just made up.) "So I'm definitely not going to spend my Sunday night watching kids singing and dancing. And all that while hanging with Chloe Beale and her _fiancée_" – she said the word as if it stung her mouth to even pronounce it – "into the wee hours of the morning. Nu-uh!"

And somehow, that was that. Amy swallowed. Mary blushed slightly. Beca took up her knife and fork and tore into her chicken again. What an absolutely ridiculous, stupid, stupid idea!

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Present day – Chloe's POV

Chloe was on her way home from work and happy to start her weekend. She knew Aubrey would still be at the office when she called her from the car. Aubrey was sort of always at work, something that worried Chloe but she had almost given up on it – Aubrey was a hopeless case!

The phone rang a few times before a hectic Aubrey picked up. "Hey chica!" the blonde greeted her friend. "I'm sorry I had to run into the kitchen." So Aubrey _was_ still at the law firm. "Hey Bree!" Chloe answered. "How is life?" "Oh, you know, the usual. We're getting ready for that trial next week. It's kinda busy over here." "Isn't it always?" Aubrey sighed which Chloe knew to be akin to admitting defeat, eliciting a giggle from the redhead. "Yeah yeah, smart ass," Aubrey grumbled.

The two women talked about their week at work for a few minutes before Chloe couldn't keep the news in any longer. "You know what?" she exclaimed. "We're going to see the ICCAs! Jules just bought the tickets yesterday, and tonight we'll book our flights." Aubrey squealed in excitement: "Wow, that's awesome, Chlo!" "I know," Chloe beamed. "Jules asked me the other day. So awesome, right?! We're probably gonna meet up with Beca for dinner, too."

Aubrey was quiet for a few seconds. "Um, what?" she called, clearly taken by surprise. Chloe pulled into the parking lot of the supermarket where she wanted to buy some ingredients for dinner. "What do you mean?" she asked her friend as she put her car into park. Aubrey took an audible breath. "Well... I'm not sure if Jules and Beca are such a good combination..." Chloe shook her head and decided to finish this conversation before grocery shopping. "Not again, Bree. Jules doesn't mind Beca. And there's nothing there. It's just because you don't like her..." Chloe closed the driver's door behind her and leaned against the hood of her car.

Aubrey moaned loudly. "Chlo! Don't give me that. You know I like Beca. It's just... difficult with us. But I do like her, and I know that-" Chloe interrupted her: "Why are you like this then? You always freak out when I talk about her. And you make it this big thing, which it really isn't. I just..." she trailed off. It was with an understanding tone that Aubrey finished her friend's sentence: "miss her. I know, pumpkin."

A moment of silence followed during which Chloe pensively twirled her car keys around her index finger. She was touching the engagement ring Jules had given her when Aubrey abruptly inhaled. Chloe straightened immediately and focussed on the discussion at hand: "What is it?" She heard Aubrey gulp loudly before she throatily answered: "Nothing... No... I think you're right. I think you _should_ meet Beca. How did she seem on the phone?"

It was as though Aubrey had been switched for another person. All of a sudden, the blonde seemed sympathetic, interested and supporting. Her tone was more friendly, her voice softer, the words she chose less harsh. Chloe was completely taken aback by the sudden change. "Um... normal, I guess. She was less frantic than last time. Aubrey, are you okay?" Aubrey almost laughed: "Sure thing, Chlo! I'm great. Okay, so less frantic? How do you mean?"

Even though she was very much surprised about Aubrey's reaction, Chloe was glad to have her best friend in girl talk mood and relaxed against the car to relay the special moment she had shared with Beca.


End file.
